fear no art

Adventure: the Cure for Stagnant Safety.

 

I would not consider myself an adventurer. I have never had the pleasure of waking up the morning of a flight feeling at ease. In fact, it’s just the opposite, panic ensues.

What did I forget to pack? What if the flight is delayed? What if I don’t enjoy this vacation that I worked so hard to save for? What if I took too much time off? What if I need that time for something more important later on? What If I am sitting next to an asshole on the plane, who won’t let me get up to pee?

My mind races with all the “what ifs” and suddenly, my beautiful, well-earned vacation moment turns into chaos before it can even allow me to relax.

I reside in a little comfort bubble. I choose to live each day pretty much the same because it’s safe. For a while, this worked. Safety provided warmth, reassurance, a steady income, shelter, and a mundane routine that gave me some success, and for a while, I deemed it fulfilling.

After years of living in my bubble, I found myself coming home with a feeling of enormous dissatisfaction. I was actively suppressing my desire to explore, and began to take it out on the people I love most. This is what we do when we feel a trapped sadness. We let it wash all over the ones closest to us because we tell ourselves they can handle it. We think that they will love us no matter how we behave.

This may indeed be true, but these actions do not help anyone. In fact, these acts will most likely lead to more internal suffocation.

Recently, I decided to reflect on my bubble and the lifestyle it manifests. I wondered if there was a way to simply pop it. I wondered if I could let go of the habits I have relied on for so long. But of course, I got defensive. My bubble has done nothing but protect me. The bubble is my home.

And this is where I was wrong. The bubble has been my biggest enabler. It stirred me away from my passion because it was too “risky.” I am an actress, and I have trained to be an actress my entire life. My heart knows this is my path, but the bubble in my mind always says: “What if I don’t ever make it?” “What if full commitment takes me away from this comfortable existence?” “What if I fail?”

Pop it. Pop the bubble now!

I am currently on a flight to Los Angeles, CA. I live in New York City. I made the choice to come here five days ago. Why? Because I have finally come to terms with the fact that my actual career, or at least the fuel I need to ignite my fire, is somewhere far away from my bubble. This morning was the first time in a long while that I felt genuinely excited.

Of course, the “what ifs” are still in my head, but I am choosing to ignore them. Courage trumps doubt. Faith trumps fear. And going on an adventure does not necessarily mean you have to fly across the country. It just means that you have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone.

Chase your joy. See where it takes you. Hey, it could lead you right back to that safe bubble you have always cherished, but at least you know what’s on the outside… at least you have tried to go after what it is you really crave. There is no doubt that daring to do this will lead you to a stronger sense of self and a willingness to look fear dead in the eye and stand your ground.

Everyone is a warrior. Everyone has a story. Make sure you are writing the pages of your life that lead you closer to your own version of a perfect ending.

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JamieWolfeJamie Wolfe collects her energy and passion from New York City’s electric streets. She moved to Manhattan to study drama at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and fell in love with its edge and quirky charm. She attempts to find humor in all situations, and thoroughly enjoys comedy, dance, and a solid spicy tuna roll. She lives in constant awe of her surroundings, and has committed to capturing her emotions in writing so they last forever.

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