It’s Time to Slay the Beast of Unworthiness.
“Self-awareness isn’t just betting on your strengths, but accepting your shortcomings.” ~ Gary Vaynerchuk
“I’m not good enough.”
It’s a secret I keep deep inside me. I’m sure many of us do. It’s a core belief so shamefully hidden and yet universally shared. How could it not be? So easily do our eyes spot that which we are not.
We see our flaws and lose all confidence in ourselves. I’m boring. Too ugly. Too short. I’m not as cool or social as everyone else.
It doesn’t matter what it is or how extreme it might be, those beliefs affect us and make it difficult to feel worthy or deserving of the things we want so dearly.
My sense of self-worth has been pulled apart and sewn back together, time and time again. The monster may go silent, but never dormant. It feigns sleep with eyes wide open.
It watches for a chance to feed on our desires and rain destruction upon our self-esteem. Its fangs pierce through our insecurities, clouding all judgment with the poison of self-loathing and inferiority.
How do we slay such a beast?
The answer may come as a surprise. Some may frown and or shake their heads. It’ll piss them off, make them weep, send them down a path they don’t quite yet recognize.
Let me get it out of the way. I’ll make it short and sweet.
We must embrace whatever it is that’s causing us to think we’re not good enough. We need to stop fretting over it because there’s nothing we can do about it.
Short and sweet, maybe, but not so simple. Still, the sooner we accept our limitations, the better off we’ll be.
Let’s Embrace Our Imperfections
I know it’s dark. Facing our demons always is. Ultimately, we want to love ourselves, right? Before we can do that, we must accept ourselves. We must accept every piece of ourselves, our flaws included. Our shortcomings are a part of us, and there is no way around them.
“But anything is possible!” you say. After all, we’ve heard of people walking out of their wheelchairs.
I don’t deny that determination leads to wondrous things. But, there’s a difference between an individual fighting to walk again and one who looks at his situation and hates himself because of it.
Playing victim to our problems is taking the easy way out. We may take pleasure in misery, complaining and placing blame, but the potential for a better life is just outside our comfort zone.
The higher road is to come to terms with everything we are. Once we conquer that, we can reflect with clarity. Only through that level of self-awareness can we truly ask ourselves, “What do I have going for me?”
Focus on Strength, Not Weakness
Every one of us has limitations, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that we tend to look at the people around us and see everything we are not. Focusing on that is what leads to feelings of unworthiness. We believe our shortcomings make us undeserving of the things we want most. “I’m not good enough because I’m not (whatever).”
We mustn’t worry about what we are not. Those thoughts and feelings only bind us to a life that is so much less than what we are capable of.
It’s time to go get our sense of worthiness through other means. Let’s pay attention to our strengths and learn to concentrate only on what we are and never look back.
The day I put all my eggs in that basket was the day I realized what was achievable. It was the same day I realized, “I am good enough, just not in the way I once thought.”
Justin Bedard is a freelance writer in the cold depths of Alberta, Canada. He writes to blab, and to blab is his nature. He’s a hedonist, an idealist, and lives for the aha moments. You could contact Justin via his website.