Disrupt the Fear.
Hell yeah, let’s all get busy with disruption!
Fear can be interchanged with guilt, shame, sadness, loneliness or despair. By disruption, I mean putting into action the desires of our hearts to forge ahead with a life lived in love and adventure.
What counts is that we are dedicated to the pursuit of this disruption. Time is not a factor, we don’t have to rush ourselves towards healing and growth. This dedicated action is what propels us towards freedom — freedom from fear, freedom from shutting down, freedom from living small.
The past 18 months of my life have been a testament to this idea. Faced with a major life change that gutted me and left me in utter despair, there was nothing left but to empty myself of my pain and begin to rebuild.
I had to rebuild everything I thought I knew about myself. I had to rebuild all the ideas in my head about how my life was going to play out. I had to rebuild a deep connection to my heart and soul to work out how the hell I was going to move forward in love.
Moving forward in love (not fear and hate) is a ridiculously hard ask of a grieving heart. Because I know this firsthand, I will advise that it’s best to take it day by day, to gather all the support you need, and to prioritize self-care and the creation of your heart’s desires.
Time and time again, I found myself overwhelmed by fear, confusion and sadness. Using action to disrupt it was not about running away from it or trying to distract myself; this never truly works. Disrupting the fear with action is all about self-care and recognizing that we can fall apart while simultaneously taking action that moves us towards healing.
In these times of darkness, we need to be brutally honest with ourselves. What makes us feel most alive? What ideas about ourselves do we need to challenge? What in our lives can drop away to make space for our expansion of self?
Create! Create! Create! We must create with a view that is guided by our deepest and most true desires. This is not about looking at one area of our lives and trying to fix it. We are creating the very essence of love and passion for all our coming days, in all areas of living — internal and external.
I create my world of love and strength with a mixed bag of tricks that I use to disrupt my darkest moments. These actions are also the things I love most about life and living, and so they are also there for me in my lightest and brightest moments.
My heart loves to write, illustrate, read, learn, travel, hike, climb, do Yoga, play and hang out with friends. I love to photograph the things that capture my heart. And then there’s music, I couldn’t go on without music. When needed, I include seeing a counselor and crying in the arms of friends, which are great options when overwhelmed by life.
This collection of disruption tools was gathered simply by knowing and acknowledging what makes me Me. No comparison to others, no need for another’s approval. These are some of my most loved experiences that bring me joy, and shape the minutes, hours and days of my life.
What stirs in our hearts that needs liberating and experiencing? These are the beautiful pieces of ourselves that can emerge and interact in the world. Once we acknowledge these desires and interests, the rest is easy; we simply start putting it into action — step by step, day by day — and watch our heart, love for life and confidence expand.
This experience is beauty in its purest form — to allow ourselves the time and space to gather in our head and heart the knowledge of who we are, and then allowing this to be expressed in our daily lives.
I personally went through this process without a lot of structure. I allowed each day to unfold as it needed to, with all the emotions and challenges rising up, and I would then decide how best to respond.
Having my own well-curated self-care priorities was essential to meeting these challenges. You never know what you may have to face next while moving through heartache and grief and just when you think they are finished with you, you may once again find yourself dealing with these dark emotions.
So we create and dream and prioritize our passions. They will guide us through difficult times, inspire our beautiful moments, and be the catalyst for an extraordinary life.
Disrupt, love and thrive.
Rachel Fry is a writer, illustrator, mother, traveler and adventurer. She is currently embarking on a new career in writing, both non-fiction and children’s picture books. Rachel is passionate about sharing stories, writing, travel, children’s education, cultural diversity, art, sustainability, music, and contributing in any way she can to add more love and beauty to our world. You could contact her via her website or Instagram.