you & me

Boundaries and Speaking Your Truth.

 

Boundaries are about strength and self-respect. Boundaries help us communicate what we want, and stand up for ourselves.

Boundaries help us be honest with others, and lead the lives we most want to lead.

Boundaries mean being able to state things clearly, and being able to respond rather than react.

Boundaries mean we can avoid resentment, and the feeling that anyone is trampling all over us. We can be lovingly firm and clear.

Boundaries can be drawn whenever we feel a sense of intrusion, injustice or anger rising.

Our boundaries tell the world what we will and won’t accept. They set us free to love.

We teach people how to treat us, so we have to learn how to treat ourselves incredibly well.

We have to be willing to speak up for what we want, to stand up for ourselves and to share our truth. With no expectation that others will fall in line with that.

Everyone else is free to act exactly as they wish to. But we can be clear about what does and doesn’t work for us, and on what we deserve.

We can be clear that we deserve only the best.

We can learn to communicate our requests, preferences and desires. Other people may or may not meet them, or agree. But this isn’t our business. Our business is in being clear ourselves — on who we are, what we stand for, and what we want.

Sometimes it’s hard to say what we really want, for fear of rejection, backlash or abandonment. For fear we won’t be heard or met. But if we don’t speak our truth, then our desires and preferences start to wither inside of us. We wilt, shrink back and get smaller; our confidence plummets, and resentment starts to build.

So we need to cultivate that strength and voice within us. We need to practice saying how we really feel, what we really want, and build that like a muscle.

We need to take responsibility for ourselves and our own well-being, rather than placing it in anyone else’s hands.

We need to worry less about offending others, and more about being true to ourselves.

The clearer we get, and the clearer we are, the more our lives will come into alignment. The more we’ll attract the people and the experiences that meet us where we are. The more we’ll be able to stand in own truth, in our own surety, regardless of anyone else’s actions.

It feels good to know yourself this well. It feels good to be able to communicate what you want and what you need, and to feel that power rising.

It feels good to take responsibility for your part in any relationship or interaction, to own your 50%. No more, and no less.

It feels good to decide you will take no shit. And in knowing that, be able to relax.

It feels good to know your edges — what you will and won’t accept. To be clear in what you’re worth. So that you can stand in your strength, and then soften, loving others with a freedom and abandon that wasn’t there before.

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KellySalterKelly Burns is a UK-based writer and mentor specializing in women’s health and the mind-body connection. She writes for both print and online publications, and is the author of the Inner Jewel Weekly blog. In her spare time, you’ll find Kelly with close friends and family, outside in nature, enjoying good food, reading, collecting wisdom, dancing around the house, traveling or on her Yoga mat. You can get in touch with Kelly via her website and connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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  1. The Hit List - Readers Studio 2017 or bust! - The Tarot Lady

    May 6, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    […] Kelly Burns writes about boundaries and speaking your truth. […]

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