The Price of Pleasing.
Many women were raised to be people-pleasers. Nice. Friendly. Always smiling. Always palatable.
People-pleasing means that we value others liking us very highly.
It means that we take responsibility for other people’s emotions. It is our job to keep them happy.
At a certain point, we take a look in the mirror and hardly know ourselves anymore.
Because when we make our choices, and design our lives around pleasing others, we lose ourselves.
We detach from our own desires. We feel as if we don’t know what it is that we want, what our true purpose is, what lights our soul on fire.
But the truth is that we do know. We just tuck away that knowing and bury it under the expectations of others — teachers, parents, friends, family, spouse, children, bosses, co-workers, neighbors… you name it.
Keeping others happy becomes our main role.
It sounds so noble, doesn’t it? Like we are doing the world a favor. Being good people. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
Meanwhile, we’re exhausted. Depleted. Resentful, especially if those people don’t behave in the way that we want them to behave or respond in the way that we expect.
The price they pay for your pleasing is their freedom. The freedom to have their own experiences, their own feelings and emotions that may have nothing to do with you.
The price you pay for your pleasing is your truth.
You never allow yourself the chance to be who you really are. You never give yourself the opportunity to discover your own voice.
Here’s the thing: it isn’t about all those other people and what they will think or say or believe about you. They aren’t the ones trapping you, constraining you, or holding you back. Taking responsibility and pulling back the projections is the first step in reclaiming your power.
Pleasing is a choice that you have made, and only you have the ability to change it.
And that’s the rub. Because it is a choice, and each and every choice comes with a sacrifice. You cannot have it both ways.
Do you value being liked/respected/admired by others more than you value standing in your truth?
Of course, sometimes those two things align. But sometimes they don’t.
And what choice will you make then?
To which point do you align your true north? Is it internal or external?
Will you abandon your soul to keep someone else happy? That is quite a high price for both of you to pay.
But that is the price of staying in your pleasing little girl persona. It is the price of not bringing forth your true soul gifts, of not putting your authentic voice and creations and energy out into the world.
Stepping into your wise-woman-hood, taking your seat on the throne, and reclaiming your queendom requires tremendous trust, courage, and an unwavering commitment to your own soul and your own unique journey in this lifetime.
Are you ready?
Linda Katz is a writer, artist, Wild Feminine Life Coach and founder of Singing Bird Coaching. For the last several years, Linda has been on a journey of unearthing her own feminine soul, and now she helps guide others on their paths of becoming. By reclaiming the connection with your body, tapping into your true soul desires, and sharing your voice from a place of fullness, you will unleash your own Sovereign Feminine, your inner Queen. You can connect with Linda via her website, Facebook, or Instagram.