Dear Insecurity, I Wish You Well.
I know we have been together for a long time now, and we have shared many beautiful and painful memories together. Yet it is time for us to say goodbye.
I thank you with all my heart for all that you have done to protect me. You never wanted me to get hurt, and for that I am forever grateful. You were the guardian of my heart, you always looked for ways to lift me up and make me feel like I was enough. You only wanted validation for me, and I know you had my best interests at heart.
You grew to believe that we needed others to give us this affirmation of worth, to give us love, and I let you believe that lie for longer than I should have. I am so sorry. You always thought we needed something or someone else to make us feel whole, and for a while, for years, I believed in that fabrication, which is why I let us travel so far together.
That journey, however, must come to an end. I feel like a part of you will never fully leave me, and maybe you will always be there just behind the curtains. But for now, I need to make room in my heart. I must release you and the fear that you bring in order to create space for peace, joy and love to fill my being. They make me feel like I am already whole, that I always have been and I always will be.
This is what I know to be true.
You see, there is so much love in my heart that I don’t need to look outside anymore. I am safe in the knowing that I have all that I will ever need and that the magic truly lies within.
You have caused me a lot of pain, but I want you to know it is not your fault. It is I who let your fears run rampant through my life. You did not know how to control these fears, and neither did I, so I let them consume both of us, which brought darkness across our skies.
I forgive you for this hurt, and I forgive myself for letting you create this shadow in which we both had to live out a painful and constricted existence.
You are now free, as am I.
With these words to you, I pray that you let yourself be transformed by the light, that you find your way into peace, joy and love as well. May fear release its grip on you, and may you come to know that you are always complete. You are safe. There is nothing to be afraid of anymore.
I wish you well on your journey, and I hope that we will meet again under better circumstances, when the light of love has filled us both, when we can transcend the misery we created when neither of us knew any better.
I love you, and I will always be thankful for the lessons you have enriched my life with.
Amy Walker is a writer, deep-thinker and all round lover of life from Scotland. Amy has grown up in the Middle East, and has spent the last three years in Bangalore, India, so she’s a little exotic, but she’s still a nerdy introvert with a big heart. Find Amy on Instagram at @thezindagiproject to find out more about her quest to fall in love with life.