Happiness Means Being Seen.
Being seen isn’t easy.
We do things to our appearance to get people to notice us, we dress up, we put on makeup, but then we dress down our personalities.
We water ourselves down so that we might be more palatable to others.
We think that if we show people our real feelings, our real responses to situations or show people what’s in our hearts, then they will run away. They will think we are strange. The truth is, we are all strange, we are all just different types of strange. If someone doesn’t like your particular brand of peculiar, then they aren’t for you, they are not meant to be in your life right now.
They aren’t bad or wrong, they are just not part of your team.
Long before we are able to contemplate letting others see our true selves though, we need to let ourselves see.
We hide from so many parts of ourselves. If something comes up, some shadow part that we don’t like, we push it back down and numb ourselves with whatever we can — food, TV, alcohol, drugs even — so we don’t have to face the pain of dealing with an emotion that’s unpleasant. We do whatever we need to do so we don’t have to face the truth of ourselves.
Generations of women and men — but it seems to me more women — have forced their true selves deep inside and become what society deems acceptable.
Every generation thinks they have it a little better than the last: “We’re in the boardroom,” “My husband stays home with the children,” etc. But do we really?
We sit, heads bowed over a screen that’s telling us how to contour like Kim K or where to get the bikini that some celebrity on TV, whose name you’re not even sure of, wore.
It’s fucking mad!
We are still being told what we can and can’t do. We won’t take being told off our partners anymore, we let the internet dictate to us instead.
We’ve got to wake up and start getting to know ourselves.
What do you love? What do you want? Are you living a life that feels true to your soul?
What are your triggers? What is it that brings up those parts of yourself that you don’t like, the parts you hide? What makes you angry? Sad?
These are all parts that join to make up the whole you. They all contribute to making you special. Stop disassociating yourself from the parts you find objectionable. Start to love them, and when they show up, say to yourself, “It’s okay, I’m not wrong to feel like this,” and just let it pass through.
Whatever it is — jealously, greed, anger — it’s only energy. All feelings — love, hate, excitement — they are all just energy, none of them good or bad. We just think they are one or the other because we labeled them as such.
Once we have started to accept our true selves, that’s when we can begin to work on loving ourselves more. When we love ourselves, we will start to show up in our lives as us, with no facade. We will do this because we know there is nothing offensive about any part of us, we have no need to hide.
We will start to put our own well-being first because we know that before we are able to give to others, we must give to ourselves.
More and more people are waking up to the fact that it is not things that bring us happiness. Being who we were born to be is what brings us happiness.
A great many of us are starting to show up in our lives more authentically than ever before. We have stopped caring if who we are matches society’s or our family and friends’ standard of what’s right. It only has to match our soul’s definition. That is where our happiness lives.
Natalie Donohoe is an advocate for happiness and joy. She firmly believes that is what we came to this planet at this time to experience. She wants to inspire others to find out what happiness means to them, through her story. Natalie loves her life, and wants others to experience the same fulfillment. She believes we are all love! You can follow her on Twitter or her blog, or alternatively see more of her writing here.