Why the Nice Guy Never Wins.


We have all heard the saying Nice guys never win, and while this is true, I am here to tell you why.

Women who have a strong, Type A, independent personality are often blamed for the good guy never winning. We are blamed for being too strong, too independent, too ambitious, and too much of a bitch, who would rather be with an asshole than a nice guy. And, even though this is true, it is not the woman to blame, it is you, nice guy.

Nice, to strong, fierce, wild women, equals boring. Nice guys are content with a mediocre life, with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and nice missionary sex once a month. The wild woman feels trapped in this life. She feels caged, stifled, and feels that she needs to hide the depths of her passion and sexuality. The wild woman would rather be alone and free than to die a slow, painful death of mediocre niceness.

The wild woman needs her strong, masculine, wild man. This wild man not only matches her spirit, he ignites the fire and passion in her heart and soul. This strong man knows who he is, what he wants, where he is going in life, and will do whatever it takes to achieve his goals. His fire for life burns hot and strong. He can never accept mediocrity. He refuses to live by societal norms, and is unafraid of living his truths.

The wild man doesn’t want a Yes-woman. He needs a woman who can question him, who matches his drive, and who is unafraid of living her own truths. The wild woman isn’t afraid to disagree with him. The nice guy wants a nice girl, and the wild woman is anything but nice.

This isn’t to say the wild man isn’t kind. There is a difference between being nice and kind. The wild man has a kind heart for others, and loves and accepts from the depths of his soul. But he’s not afraid to tell others the truths they need to hear. And this is the difference between the nice guy and the right man.

A wild woman doesn’t want or need a man who never challenges her. She doesn’t want a man who always agrees, and does anything to make her happy. This sounds nice to you, and you think this is giving women what they want, but it’s not. Wild women need to hear the truth. We need to be told if we are being selfish or neglectful, because sometimes we can be when we become lost in our own purpose.

We cannot have the man who is so afraid of losing us that they never tell us the truth. That is why nice guys never win. Wild women need the strong, balancing, masculine energy of the wild man. We need the passion to run so hot that it makes our mouths water to say his name. We need sex to be with so much desire that it leaves us spinning, weak, and drunk on love.

We need adventure and acceptance with our sexuality. We need trust, and we need to know we are loved and accepted exactly the way we are. We need a man who is completely secure with himself, so he has no jealousy of other men. He doesn’t want to lose us, but he isn’t afraid if he does, because he knows if we are not meant for him, someone else is.

Wild men like these, who have these traits, can sometimes be assholes when they are upset. The negative side of having ambition, passion, desire, and confidence is that you can be arrogant, yell out of passion, and be stubborn. These come across as asshole behavior, just like these same traits in a female are perceived as bitchy.

Well, nice guys, I’m here to tell you, the bitch will be the best love you have ever had, so if you finally want to win, lose the nice guy act and gain some asshole traits.


Dezaray Caraballo is self-proclaimed wild woman witch, who has been enlightening other women for the past 10 years. She is a fierce activist for the Divine Feminine, and offers soul-healing and growth through writing, and sharing her own life experiences. Her highest knowledge is in Shadow work; making great change and growth, because of great pain and heartache. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram.


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