you & me

Keep Your Ships, I Choose Relation-Shapes.


I don’t like the idea of a relationship. This defined construct. To be steered in a predetermined direction. That follows the course of societies expectations.

In a specific trajectory. Limited. Linear.  This concept, so painfully constrictive.

From inside the box of monogamy to outside the box into what? Polyamory? More people does not equal less complication. It’s basic mathematics. More people, more problems. 99 of them, and monogamy ain’t one.

I want to create a shape that fits us in the ever changing motion we exist in. Embracing the energy of movement that is some version of us, moment to moment. Motion in progress. Undefinable in perpetuity. More than just one thing. Non-linear. In all our complicated mess of butterfly-becoming. As we are.

There’s nothing neat about this human experience. It’s deliciously complex, so why are we always trying to streamline the processes? The limitations and tightness of constraints that cause tremendous pain. This fixation to hop on board to get to Destination Happily-Ever-After. Somewhere over the rainbow. To sail away into the sunset.

Instead we’re sinking, drowning in the chaos of a sea too full with nowhere to go. No safe harbor. Going overboard in our desperation. Capsizing. Jumping ship. Titanic split-ups, out of the blue, again and again. Repeatedly.There are other ways to travel. Alternatives to the journey of two by two. There is no great flood to fear. We can live with our feet firmly planted on the ground.

I want to create my own relation-shape that fits us as we discover and rediscover ourselves. Meeting each version for the first time, because it is the first time in this particular incarnation. What is stale and boring about that? A million combinations of multi-color. And shades, and shapes, and spaces in between. Doesn’t that sound glorious, exciting?

Are you in or out? Away from polar opposite options, as if the extreme versions are the only two major choices to be made.

I crave a perfect shape to contain my totality. I’d love it to be a place for two. But first it has to be a comfortable size to fit my own complexity. And I won’t shrink myself smaller for it. It needs to be expandable.

The  limitations of a ship aren’t built to travel to the transcendent places I hope to explore. Into the vastness love can take us. That’s the adventure I’d like to go on. Those are the places I want to visit.

I will not ship myself off, packaged and gift-ready for a man to unpack and explore. What’s inside her box? will not apply here. Rules will be broken here because the shape hasn’t been defined yet. We won’t fall into it, or step up into it, it’ll self-create surrounding us. Embracing us as we shift and change, fluid and light. Like an aura. Permeable to allowing compassion in, and permeable to letting judgment flow out.

Letting love flow as the life-force connector. Undefined movement as its definition.

No breaking down of each other’s walls, no boundary construction, as the shape is an internal and external symbiosis. Like a lava lamp. Moving as we move. Changing as we change. Ever expansive.

This is the shape I crave to surround us with. An invisible magnetic field in which possibilities are endless and hope lives eternal.

The world can keep its ships. They’ve served many. But that voyage, those rights of passage, are expired principles I no longer choose to live by. I choose relation-shapes. Each of us to create our own. Movement in the direction of dance.


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Lauren Wallett
Lauren Wallett is a compulsive creatress. Connect with her on Instagram, contact her for Connection Coaching, or buy her books/support her writing on Patreon.
Lauren Wallett
Lauren Wallett
Lauren Wallett

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Lauren Wallett