Setting Love Free from the Shackles of Expectation.
Meandering through the narrow, Welsh country lanes, they were headed nowhere in particular; the destination was immaterial.
Truth be told, reaching a particular place had never been important to them, for they knew they were going nowhere — together — so they may as well enjoy the ride.
They had long since made friends with the silence that accompanied them on their travels; words were superfluous. A relationship that had been, at best, tumultuous was coming to an end. There was nowhere else to go, nothing else to say, nothing left to cling to. Stripped of the things that damaged them — jealousy and the rage that ensued — they were free to be vulnerable once more.
Lying there naked, the sincerity underpinning the relationship that had once allowed it to flourish was palpable. The understanding transmitted through their eyes far superseded any attempt to make sense of what was going on by clothing their feelings with the outward garb of words.
This was the language of the soul — of two flames dancing playfully together, respectfully, knowing that the lesson they had agreed to teach each other before incarnating had been learnt and that now it was time to dance with another. There was no attempt to resist; only acceptance remained and the knowledge that they had experienced something extraordinary.
Beauty spilled out of the rocks that stood sentinel over their route. Vegetation jutted out of ancient rock formations ostentatiously, garishly, unapologetically, like a peacock proudly displaying its feathers. Vast fields spread out into the horizon and were covered by a thick blanket of white and yellow flowers which stood out against the backdrop of the rugged coastline in the distance.
They lay a blanket over a patch of the white and yellow flowers, bottle of red in hand, and a profound sense of peace enveloped her. This peace within extended not only to how she related to her companion but to her surroundings as well. The gentle sun kissed her skin and held her in its sweet embrace before he did. How she relished the warmth all around — and within — her.
Tears formed on the corner of her eyes and, tenderly, gravity had its way with them, pulling them downwards, deep towards the center of the Earth.
“Ah,” the cosmic sound escaped her lips and, in this moment of transience, connected her not only to him but to a state of permanence on some other plane: she had dipped her toes into the ocean of bliss.
The joy that always is and always shall be made itself momentarily visible to her trusting eyes yet, without warning, it was sullied by the realization that she could not hold on to it forever, in the same way that she could never hold on to him forever. She shuddered and panicked as the joy began to slip through through fingers like dry sand as the nectar turned to poison.
The understanding between their souls would soon once again be masked by their desire to bind and possess and control the other.
This was more than an experience of two individuals, of two lovers, loving without attachment, without clinging or clutching in a paradisiacal setting. If only momentarily, they had been able to set themselves free. Free from fear, free from the shackles of expectations, knowing it was the last time they would have the opportunity to express their deepest, purest feelings for one another.
Their karma had been burnt and their souls had been purified in the consummation of their ethereal desires.
Since that day she had never allowed herself to look back. Not until today, when she realized it was safe and she gave herself the permission to return to the hills near Cardiff to re-live that moment of peace.
Anne Marie Morello considers herself a free-range human: she is a Yoga teacher, a writer, a counselor and an English teacher. She has recently embarked on a Master’s degree in Psychotherapy, and she is particularly interested in the benefits of therapeutic writing. Writing is an integral part of her life; it’s how she learns about herself and the world around her. It helps her deal with the ‘plot twists’ in life with some kind of grace and humility. Although she is no fan of spiders or parallel parking, she’s even less of a fan of the injustice she sees in the world. She tries to share kindness and love in her interactions with others in the hope that it will inspire others to do the same too.