I don’t know how your mind functions, but I recently discovered through a breakdown that anticipation of success shuts me down just as much as fear of failure (and actually, maybe more so).
And so it is we hear them now, the voices of the grandmothers that never were. The voices of hundreds of thousands of wise women, calling us back to the power that flows in our veins.
There is this misconception about awakening: it instantly fixes everything and we happily be tiptoe on a bed of rose petals for the rest of our lives. The experience and testimonies of the great yogis and mystics say otherwise.