you & me

On Finally Coming Home to Myself.


We just went through the Lion’s Gate/eclipse portal, starting with the lunar eclipse in June and culminating with the solar eclipse in August, with the astrological event called the Lion’s Gate on August 8 in the middle.

With this being the much-talked about Year One in numerology (2+0+1+7=10, i.e., 1) those who follow these matters and give them any credence were being advised to expect big changes in the cosmic hologram from the personal to the planetary and beyond.

If you’re like me, your interest in cosmic matters is directly related to how it affects you personally, and considering the life I’ve had, I could only hope that the prognostications would come true and this summer would bring the sort of fundamental, structural, concrete changes that would mark the watershed between everything that came before and everything that would now ensue.

I’m happy to say that the hype turned out to be warranted. This was the big one. This was the one I/we’ve been waiting for.

The struggles attested to could be compared to that of a hiker who has forgotten that they’re a hiker and don’t understand why their path is so hard. Every now and then you catch a glimpse of a vista that makes you think there might be a point to the whole thing so you keep on going since you don’t really have a choice anyway.

At some point on a good hike, even a conscious hiker stops thinking about anything but taking one step after another because the path is so long and arduous.

While I understood that and thought I had some level of mastery, and even wrote a book documenting my journey, it’s only now that I feel like a hiker who has finally reached the summit and remembered that they are a hiker and why they chose to take this hike. Until now, no matter how clearly I thought I could see, half my view was still obscured by mountain.

Now I’ve got the 360-degree view, and I’m free to just sit and marvel at it while I finally break open my pack and have some coffee and a ham sandwich.

To be more specific, but without getting into too much detail, I saw two circles come to closure on August 15, both of which were concerned with the issue of home. One of those circles was exactly a year in circumference, the other was exactly eight years in circumference. On that day, and on a number of levels, I finally came home.

This was very satisfying, and I could see it as the culmination of the process of endings and beginnings that has been taking place this year.

The shocker was the culmination of another circle roughly 25 years in circumference that I didn’t even realize I was traversing. This played out over the same week and started with me seeing a poster on the Monday that notified me that a musical group, which had been the subtle catalyst that got me started looking at things differently, was doing a free concert in town on the Friday.

This was a shocker because I didn’t even know they were still active. My musical journey was actually finally taking shape at the same time and bringing me back to their example. There had been a lot of dead ends on that trail as I strove to define what I was pursuing and was constantly frustrated by the inability of others to walk with me, to help me figure out what it was and make it a reality.

I had been coming to terms with the latest disappointments, and facing the reality that if I was going to go any further, I would have to go it alone.

It took a while to sink in, but when the group played the piece I first heard so many years ago, it was like a bell tolling. It tolled for me and signified that this had always been about my power and sovereignty. That was why all my earnest attempts to share it had been so thoroughly trashed.

What I had thought was a long line of disappointments and grievances that I was forced to carry around with me, I could now see from my perspective on the summit, were the perfect conditions to keep me on the true path to myself.

Even the smallest encouragement, that collaboration was the way, would have kept me going in that direction, so I was repeatedly betrayed until I finally got the message and stopped trying to hide behind others. I can see it now, all the way down to the base of the mountain 25 years ago. Now my creative energies are gushing out, and it’s a struggle just to stay on my feet sometimes.

It’s particularly perfect that this epiphany happened in my hometown, which has never felt like home but which has emerged as the place where the concept of home has finally come home to roost, where I came home to myself.

As I pivot from dependence and uncertainty to mastery and clarity, I can see how this time in my hometown is also providing a foundation from which to push off and launch myself out into the world. I’m already thinking of touring.

It’s all so obvious now that I have to laugh. But it’s also obvious what has to be done to prepare for the opportunities barreling towards me as I realize that this has been in the works for all these many years, so I’m mostly just hunkering down and getting to work, another concept that is finally rising up to meet me.

Whatever the hell it was I’ve been doing all my life, I’m officially retired now, and my retirement consists of starting work. I can’t even rule out the possibility of having a house and a car some day. Maybe a credit card and a dog.

“Hi Honey, I’m home!”


Clive Treadwell‘s background is in creative services and management consulting, but his foreground is in the evolution of the human race. He is the author of The Reluctant Monk: An Ascension Story and the proprietor of The Ascension Store, and can be found on Facebook.


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