a world

Imminent Destruction Brings the Absolute Promise of Rebirth.

 

There is an incredible amount of destruction on the planet right now.

Fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, so many natural disasters all at once, too much devastation for us to deny any longer that Gaia is in an incredible amount of pain.

Although I did not know the exact path Irma would take as I evacuated my Miami home last week, I knew that her course would bring me to my knees in every way. I knew even if my home was still standing when I returned, she would be my conduit to total annihilation. I felt this shift occurring in every cell of my being.

I spent the summer diving deep into human connection and the walls inside of me that prevent me from true evolutionary love connections.

I started and ended a relationship this summer, one for which I had great expectations and I thought held great promise. I was proud to became a better mother, then after taking two steps forward, took one step — okay, fine, four steps — back. These obstacles set me on a path of painful suffering, and in my pain, I lost sight of the truth.

It took Irma, the War Goddess, to bring an end to the battle inside me, to return me to my center. It took the overwhelming fear of possible destruction of every kind to bring me to self-reflection and intense honesty. Finally, in deep pain, I was forced to look at hidden truths that I’ve been denying for far too long.

I looked at my acts of service, my writing, my career, my friendships, and I asked, “Are each and every one of these, first and foremost, being completely loving and true to self, or are they the drug I’m using to hide from me? Are they totally authentic, vulnerable, transparent and based in 100% unconditional love first for myself then for others?”

The answer was one I’ve been avoiding for far too long.

It was time to come home again, no more distractions, to look at my still abandoned pieces of self, to address the darkest places, the ones that hurt the most, the ones avoided for a lifetime.

I love the repeated journey home, the peace I finally get when I come to terms with truth about where I am supposed to go and what I am supposed to do. I love the remembering, finally and usually after much self-inflicted suffering, that the truth is always inside me, that everything that happens outside me is simply the truth inside begging for my love and attention, once again, and for my return home to self.

So, today as I return inside to me, Hurricane Irma, knocking on my door, reminds me that energy does not die. What we call death is always a rebirth, a new beginning, the promise of a fresh clean start.

We can stay stuck, continue to walk on this planet as the living dead, or we can propel ourselves forward in the knowing that we are all here to transform, to rebirth ourselves over and over and over again. It is our one and only job on this planet, to embrace the storm outside, and to be reminded that it is merely an invitation to return to the silence and truth inside.

There was turmoil of my own creation inside me. I could not see the stillness. It was elusive and I was scared.

I was being pelted with wind and rain, both outside and inside, so I took a step into the storm. I leaned in fearlessly, both literally and figuratively.

I walked outside in the gusting wind and pouring rain. I sat in the thick, wet grass, water everywhere, flowing effortlessly all around me, no fighting, no questions, no obstacles, just cleansing me and all that is a part of me, if only I would let it.

In the puddle of grass, palm trees yielding to the powerful winds, no fighting, no struggle, just the give-and-take, ebb and flow of nature at its best, I felt instantly embraced by the power and magnitude of Gaia outside and by the loving welcome of my inner children inside.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for returning home… it has been too long!”

I sat with Gaia. I stroked her grassy green hair. I thanked her for the gifts of her fury, of her truth, and the promise of new beginnings. I apologized to her for not hearing her sooner, and with the world around me in total and complete perfect chaos, my world inside became quiet and still.

The truth pushing and pulling as far as the eye could see, it felt as if all is perfect, as it should be.

Allow the storms to take you apart, break you down, don’t fight them. See the truth. Return inside every single time, accept the invitation to come home to the truth of self.

Embrace the destruction of the storm and celebrate the absolute promise and complete perfection of the coming rebirth.

***

Christie Del Vesco is a College Administrator and Professor, a Universalist Minister, a member of the RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) Speakers Bureau and single mom. She’s a children’s advocate, a survivor of many forms of sexual violence, and a voice for the survivors who have yet to find their own. Chris is a firm believer that we go through what we do, to help others when they go through the same. She also believes if we would all just “be the change,” we can change the world.

***

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