you & me

I Am Free: A Circle Broken.

 

A beautiful story emerges from this little gold band as it soars through the air to land, where I thankfully cannot see it.

The sounds that surround me are of the breeze rustling through the leaves and cars passing through at a distance, while unbeknownst to them a story was ending and another beginning.

The gold band once meant so much along with its partner of solidified coal. Today it means even more. It means finally letting go.

These past 22 years have been a growth and a death. Both have come from a life I never would have imagined.

First I hold the golden band in my left hand. I rub it down one last time. Within its interior walls the words 4ever & ever were once visible. Did the words get rubbed away like the hope of my marriage or were they ever really there? Was the idea of forever a falsehood the Universe knew of, never letting the words to be etched into forever?

Was forever always a myth?

I once believed in forever like I once believed in him. I’ve had trouble letting go of this belief. Today it is time. I have no other choice.

It was 22 years ago yesterday, to be exact, that this golden ring was placed on my finger. Today I let it go and let it soar far into the unknown… without me. Let me be free of its burden of hopes and dreams.

Be free, me.

Be free now.

Let me go.

Let me be free.

Let me be me.

Now it’s time for its counterpart. Old coal blackened on the inside by deception. I once believed in you too. But you were also a myth born of lies. I once wore you so proudly. Be free once more and shine your light again.

My light now comes from me — no more false idols before me. Wear your heart of coal on someone else’s sleeve. Leave mine free.

F*ck you for ruining me.

F*ck you for promising things you never intended to give.

Thank you for ruining me and letting me grow from these ruins.

I am a new seed buried deep and protected. My roots are no longer trapped or encumbered.

Thank you for promising me falsehoods because now I know bullshit. Now I can see colors more clearly and will never be fooled again.

Thank you for letting me go so I can now let go and move forward.

The unbroken circle has been broken. It has ended years of hope and pain and confusion.

The line is now open for me to move forward. I am no longer trapped in its suffocating confines.

Thank you for helping me to birth myself. Thank you for being a part of three lives that have given me a reflection of perfection and beauty.

My true personality is bare and exposed, yet protected and fierce.

I am free.

I am free.

I am f*cking free.

***

Rebecca Mckown is an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor. Rebecca is passionate about helping people connect to their soul life and to live the life they are meant to live. Words are her fuel and her connection to Universal energy. Rebecca spends her days with her three kids, who have taught her the true meaning of beauty and love. She is also an Akashic records practitioner. Rebecca can be found at her website, Facebook or Instagram.

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