Hope, the Destroyer.
The dark time of the year has come. When the cold burns through every bone in your body, and your soul feels too tired to move, you know it is here.
This is the time of shadows. When all the wounds, and all the fears, and all your worries, rise to the surface. I feel it. I feel the isolation, the restlessness of my Wild Woman, who is incubating while trying to find Her purpose again. I feel lost. I feel that a huge change is needed. A magnificent shift in my soul-work, yet its meaning is unclear at this time.
The darkness is creeping around me, threatening to swallow me whole if I don’t contain it. What do I do? How can I transform my feelings of depression and doubt into creative action and purpose when I barely have the energy to pick up a pen?
How do I go on when every day life reminds me that I’m still not enough? I don’t have enough money to quit my job and do what I love. There isn’t enough time in my day to attend to my craft when I have daily responsibilities to take care of first. My gifts are not yet strong enough to truly help and heal others.
These are all the shadows that threaten to kill off our Wild Woman voice. And while the truth may be that you don’t have the financial stability to quit your job and focus solely on your purpose, that doesn’t mean we should do nothing. We cannot let the coldness freeze us in place. We cannot be frozen, unable to move, think, or create, just because we are feeling our shadows.
The definition of the Wild Woman, to me, is a woman who can make the right moves, even when she is cold, afraid, and doubtful. She may not have all the answers, bust she trusts in herself and the natural cycle of life. We must let death happen now. We must let go and realize the things, people, thoughts, and actions that have prolonged their stay in our lives.
I know this is easier said than done, my sisters. The reason why it is hard for us to let go is because we have the double-edged sword of hope. We have been taught that hope is a good emotion and motivator to live with. I’m here to tell you that hope is a destroyer of your true self and purpose. Women use hope to do things that are not for their greatest good. We stay in abusive relationships because we hope one day they will change. We hope we will get the job we want, the house, the relationship… the list goes on and on.
Hope is a thought without action, which keeps the Wild Woman suppressed.
So what do we need instead of hope? Believe! Believe in ourselves, our worth, our value, and our capabilities. When we believe in our true self, we do not accept anything less than what we deserve today. When we believe in who we are, we take the actions needed to achieve our goals and live our purpose.
When we believe in the natural life/death/life cycle of the universe, we can do our shadow-work and healing while knowing, not hoping, that our transformation is coming.
This is how we handle and grow through the dark time. We believe with absolute knowing that new life is coming soon. The pain will lessen. The wounds will heal. We don’t hope for this, we make it happen because we are warriors, and our belief in ourselves is stronger than any negative barriers.
Believe in who you are, sisters. Believe in your value and worth. Believe you can take the first step to living your truth. Believe in your gifts and creative talent. Then, go out into this world and kick some ass!
Dezaray Blankenship is a Wild Woman Warrior Witch who has been enlightening other women for the past 10 years. She is a fierce activist for the Divine Feminine, and offers Soul-Healing and Shadow-Work, through classes and one-on-one Self-Discovery missions. Her goal is to help women heal their wounds to make great change and growth through great pain and heartache. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or email her for a free personal consultation.