The Day I Accepted My Body’s Invitation to Let Her Be Loved.
My love laid his soft warm hands on my body. I opened to his touch like a lotus to the light. My body sighed a deep releasing breath as I relaxed into his presence.
I allowed him to enrapture me with his sacred touch. As each gentle glide slid over my oiled body, layers of tension melted away.
With the vastness of expansion came a frightened contraction, I started to feel uncomfortable, my body began to become stiff, I felt a prickly tightness arising from my stomach right up through my chest. My arms became tight and tense. I could feel every cell contract and all sense of relaxation diminishing.
I could feel the tension in my face building as my jaw tightened and my muscles held tense. My mind had decided that I didn’t want him to touch me, I wanted to close down, retract, and block his touch. I wanted him to stop, but something deep within me urged me to surrender.
A gentle inner voice was guiding me to breathe through the discomfort, to breathe deeply into the fear with my awareness remaining fully in my body. There was no escaping from this, there was no checking out, I knew I had to fully feel what was arising within me.
I stared to sense familiar energies from times once past begin to appear within my body. I realized I was re-experiencing the dense energies of self-hatred that I had hurled towards myself as a young girl who was inflicted with disordered eating. I felt disgusted with myself, I wanted to run away from myself, disown physicality and disassociate from my body.
I was deeply immersed in the most immense frustration and disgust towards myself and my body. I felt the fire of anger building within me, a raw primal rage that had been bubbling within for eons.
Fierce, fiery and destructive energies were lodged within the fibers of my body. My body had remembered everything, like imprints stamped into my cells.
My beautiful body was inviting me to love her, to realize how I had mistreated her. I was gently being reminded of how deserving I was of letting this self-hatred go. How it was now time to be free from my own self-judgments that had been eating away at me.
It was time to release these harmful energies and to cradle myself in the deepest love and compassion. To hold myself with the kind of love that I would a small child. It was time to forgive myself and my body. It was time to honor my sacred vessel of life.
My love could sense my angst, and after expressing my resistance, he suggested we move these energies down into my yoni and work with the sexual energy to release them from my body. He began to slide his silken fingers over the lips of my yoni. I writhed with pleasure as I melted into the bliss of surrender.
I was well and truly immersed in the delight of pure pleasure. My legs opened wider, my body lifted off the ground, and my head arched back into the pillow. The imploded energies that had been encapsulated within my body were being alchemized in the fire of arousal.
It was then that Shakti entered me. She rushed into my spine and waves of ecstasy exploded throughout my body. My mind spun away as the pulsations of sensual aliveness intensified throughout my entire being. I began to writhe like a snake with the full power of explosion within every cell of my body. As the waves of ecstasy intensified, I became Shakti’s vessel. Shakti was seducing me, and I was all Hers.
Lauren Love is a hypnotherapist, writer, and energy healer. A mystical soul and priestess over many lifetimes, she has a devotion to love, sensual embodiment, and the reawakening of the Sacred Feminine. Lauren is available for private hypnotherapy healing sessions at Amara Healing, and can be contacted via Facebook.