archives, you & me

Fuck Yes, I’m Angry. And Fuck Yes, You Need to Hear Me.

 

The above is a meme found on Pinterest. Thank you to whoever the original author of this sentiment is. You are a genius.

I see you losing your shit, Woman. And no, you are not overreacting. But I know why you might think that. I’ve been in your shoes, having a tantrum over actual spilled milk.

I’ve exploded the way you’ve exploded over yet another instance of not being heard by your boss/boyfriend/bitchy neighbor. I’ve stood there where you’re standing while a parent/teacher/significant other has raised an eyebrow and told you to calm down. And it’s a load of bullshit.

It’s part of the way we are kept small, and in line with the anti-feminine, power over agenda, and it started when we were very young.

I still remember the things I was known for in grade school: hissy fits, a potty mouth, and crying. I would throw all-out tantrums, screaming, spit flying, tears of rage on my cheeks, tension in my entire body, and I was so angry.

A kid called me names because my skin wasn’t the right color? Hissy fit. The other girls in class mimicked their mothers, practicing their horizontal hostility on me? Big hissy fit. The teacher called on a boy instead of me for the thousandth time? Hissy fit with a side of name-calling. Mrs. Bogue, you were being sexist and you didn’t know it. Someone needed to point it out.

Every time I perceived injustice, unfairness, an attempt to deny my right to be who I was, I blew up. I knew the things that pissed me off stemmed from ignorance, hypocrisy, a lack of integrity, really fucked-up views of women and girls and their place in the world, and some serious bullshit fabricated to cover up the weaknesses and small egos of the adults around me.

I knew all this, but was too young to have the correct words. And my physical reactions were too emotional, not logical enough for a culture that largely ignored the wisdom and clear seeing of children. I was not old enough to call out what I saw, and by the time I had the words, I was too torn-down, too brainwashed, and out of touch with my inner knowing to recognize I was being silenced.

And this, this silencing, this is where we start to accumulate the anger and the rage that leaks out in small bursts, and is deemed overreacting over tiny transgressions. This silencing, and denying of our own knowing, is exactly where we’ve given up our power, and continue to give it up until we let it all out. And I do mean, let it out, and let them have it.

Our voices have been oppressed by others for a long time. We’ve also suppressed them ourselves, not just in the self-preservation tactic of staying silent, but in the seemingly benign striving to be spiritually aware and loving and compassionate, and this is backfiring big time. You can’t be compassionate until the anger has been witnessed and moved out. That’s emotional bypassing.

Anger and rage are seriously powerful emotions of transformation, and you can feel these and be loving at the same time. It’s a both/and situation, and it can be a powerful healing portal to move the anger out and see what’s underneath: usually fear or grief.

When the anger is there, it needs out. When the person standing in front of you is crossing your boundary, belittling you, disrespecting who you are, they need to know and you need to be the one to let them know how angry it makes you. No, it is not justified to do to them what they’ve done to you, but it is actually our responsibility to let another know when we are pissed off, and they are full of shit.

They can’t get away with simply doing things differently next time, while you are left adding to the well of unprocessed rage and anger already stored in your body if nothing is said, and Woman, we’ve had millennia of that. There’s some serious life-force energy tied up in keeping all that anger and rage in, so let it out.

We’ve got a lot of bullshit to clean up, and there’s more than just spilled milk to throw a tantrum over.

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Cinnamon Rose is a trained, initiated Priestess through the Awakening Avalon lineage, a lineage of the Ladies of the Lake, and through the dedication of her piko to the Fire Goddess Pele. She weaves the energies of water and fire together as the Warrior and the Lover in service to the evolution of individuals, Gaia, and the Collective. Cinnamon offers private mentorship for those interested in awakening their sovereignty through healing of trauma, and the transformation of friction into true potential. To learn more about her offerings or to book for private mentorship, connect with her via Priestess. Warrior. Lover. or Instagram.

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