3 Stages of How a Strong Woman Finds Herself.
{Photo credit: Genava Gisondi}
Woman, there will come a time in your life when you will face a decision: do the deep dive into yourself, or give up and be what they tell you to be.
If you choose the wild, unswept path of pursuing your truth, you will emerge more powerful than you ever thought possible. And the following three stages are what you will find — stages a strong woman goes through on her journey of self-discovery.
Stage 1:
Everybody else’s opinion matters most here. Lots of anxiety and jitteriness.
Friends are actually enemies and quite jealous, but she tries to make them like her.
She edits thoughts through the filter of what others are comfortable hearing. Careful, polite, to the detriment of her own truth and health.
She is not too anything — beautiful, hot, confident, wealthy — so as to avoid being alone, and to always be liked by everyone.
She picks out her clothes, truth, etc., making sure they are acceptable at first.
A woman’s sex is someone else’s — the church’s, her partner’s, her abuser’s, her family’s — and yet she has not found a way to claim the sex that is all her own.
When she is upset or hurt, she just disappears and cuts people out of her life in very cruel ways. Little to no healthy long-term intimate relationships.
In this stage she is constantly exhausted, yet nothing of deep value gets done.
Stage 2:
Here a woman excels at a role — mother, wife, leader, sex goddess, creator, etc. — and struggles to see herself as more than the role she is fulfilling at the moment.
When she does have energy, she utilizes it in doing something for others, and is unsure of how to meet any of her own needs.
She wonders about who she might be without certain constraints and pressures, and hungers for it, but denies the hunger through covering it with acceptable or unacceptable addictions like food, joining committees, homemaking, exercise, alcohol, wifing, mothering, and dieting.
There is a deep ache in her yoni for mind-melting passion that goes beyond the physical act of sex, and she is not sure how to make her fantasies and pleasure a reality. She wonders if she’s worthy, and about what people might say.
She is always the one to reach out, make plans, to keep dying relationships on life-support in fear of being alone or hurting others.
She is constantly hurt or pissed off as she begins to see how people treat her and how much more she deserves.
This is an awakening phase, and takes deep courage to experience without safely hiding behind the opinions of others in Stage 1.
Stage 3:
This is when a woman stops giving a damn about what does not align with her purpose, pleasure, and truth.
She gets she’s on a mission to make the world better, and has little energy or time for drama.
She can spend evenings alone discovering her body, and actually prefers the solitude sometimes.
She learns to say Yes or No without explanation or apology.
Here she gladly soaks up praise, for she recognizes she is meant to feel good in the world.
Her body begins to feel like a safe place to be, and she loves finding new ways to bring it pleasure.
She can ask for help, and sees how necessary it is in up-leveling.
Here she might fulfill certain roles, or doesn’t and feels content, and loves the paths she chooses knowing that she can be all the things she wants.
Here her orgasm, her fucking, her vagina, her hunger, all are not dirty words, but where she can go easily without embarrassment and deep worthiness.
She spends more time being happy, and does not over-function.
Here she is deeply desired and worshiped and loved, for she knows her worth and cannot get enough of life.
She can speak honestly when a relationship is meaningful to her, and saves her depth, need, and intimacy for those who meet her on her level.
She begins to recognize her gifts and power, and no longer needs to pretend that she’s anything but incredible.
She endures attack or projection from others, but doesn’t get too caught up in praise or ridicule, more interested in being a woman of integrity and someone she loves waking up to.
Her money, health, sex, joy, purpose, all come easily here, for she’s resigned to being free and just letting it all be easy.
Here’s to your fullest, hungriest, most alive self, with nothing held back.
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Maria Palumbo is a transformation coach. A lover of desire, she reveals the flame within all, and holds space for thriving and creating from a place of pleasure. She teaches freedom from shame and the embodiment of worthiness. You could email her to receive info on her coaching and classes, and follow her work at her website or Facebook.
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