poetry

When You Land Safe. {poetry}

 

I had too many titles
for this declaration:

The glow of relief
The recognition of relief
The recognition of peace
Falling Up, Falling Down

It’s all about what happens
when we give ourselves
Heart, mind, body and soul
to another person
The falling-in-love thing

Intensely passionate words
poetry since the beginning of time
music… oh please, the music

Passion so ripe
your breath is taken away
again and again
So sweet, you are blinded
while walking on air
dreaming in Technicolor promises
orchestrating your days
based upon an altered state
of being
Altered because you have
taken in another’s life
have been taken in by another’s choices

Glorious, shiny new
explorations, expectations, promises
blinding, bursting wide open
physical falling into everything

Every. Single. Thing.
Words become
magical, dancing
On fire
trembling, exotic
tactile, tangible
elements that morph into a new reality

He’s showing the best of himself
and then some
the game of mating Mother Nature devised
so damn perfectly
with a touch of improvisation
For this
for these moments

You fall and soar
carefully, cautiously
Not an ‘every encounter’ kind of thing
That’s not what this is
your heart tells you
your mind promises you

You’re savvy, smart, careful
with your extraordinary heart
Pay attention to the sights, sounds, swelling seas
that only your body knows
never fails you
been here before
I know how to navigate

Or not.
This is what I want to tell you
beyond just another poem about how
sad love can become:

Look, dig deep, carve out, search like mad
and read between the lines
which sucks
because this does not feel like the time for such scientific analysis

Except that it is.
Your life depends on it, literally

When you give up even a
tiny slice of
your truth
your integrity
your exhausted energy
your comfort
your peace
your ability to fully exhale
your resources that keep you alive
your healthy state of being
your easy, magnificently perfect, natural laughter

When you take a step back and see that
you are the fuel propelling this union
giving in, settling
being told something
that your gut says,
Why the fuck this?
You are loved, adored, treasured today
and questioned, analyzed tomorrow
uneasy about your next move
not trusting your authentic, loving self
Step way back

When you have opened up
and shared
all the sweetest pieces that make
you the magnificently beautiful, precious
creature that you are
your brilliant, quick, whimsical sense of being
your astronomical  creativity
your spirit of generosity that knows no end
your body — that temple of perfection, pure, wide open paradise
your wisdom
your wildly amazing resourcefulness

And doubt trickles in
then consumes you
but you keep going, giving
because maybe this is the way it is

Stop. Step back and listen
to every fiber of your being
even though
you know
how fucking miserable
this kind of heartbreaking
deeply, deathly disappointing
pain and ending plays out

The sharing is over.
His inauthentic, covert
veiled, hidden secrets
have been exposed

His game is up
His diseases
narcissism, gaslighting
self-absorbed, selfish self
are as open as you were
before you
stepped back
and up

You are not over.
You are raw and wounded
tired, confused
shattered, broken
stripped of your ability
to think clearly, with reason

His silence is the most deafening
dreadful noise
you have ever experienced
Pathetic coward that he is
always was
adeptly, expertly, deceiving you

Ride it out
there is no other choice
But ride it with hope
because you are so
not over

His presence lingers where you were
where he was
The scent of him permeates the physical
and the invisible
He took away your gift of poetry, music, dance,
unabandoned gorgeous smiles,
head thrown back in ecstasy
Your essence

Where is the elixir…
the magic tonic
to heal the throbbing pain
stop the bleeding?

It’s within you
where it was
the day before he happened

Take a minute
as many minutes as you need
to find it, reclaim it
and you will
If it’s day 76 of the end
and you’re still a little bit off center
but beginning to see
the reflection that
you recognize, celebrate

Clarity is so close
Wiser-than-ever is yours to embrace
Not jaded
Ripe with what you know and have
always known

What felt like devastation and loss
beyond repair
was another lesson in love
Not a game
although you are the winner

The moment that your smile is radiant again
your body responds to the beat you live for
the light is back in your eyes
your creative outlet is in overdrive
you feel it coming…

The completely whole, amazingly independent
Wise, brilliant
Beautiful, strong
Magnificent, tender woman

You have another story to tell
with grace, grit
and the absolute certainty
that you own
the power
to attract
exactly what you deserve
the who, the when, the where.

You landed
You are safe
Move on.
Be loved.

***

Debi Cooper lives in the Pacific Northwest, lives to love, write, spend time with friends, and explore new adventures. Feeling that California is ‘home’, she’s looking forward to a perfect Seattle summer. Then… who knows? That’s the best part of life.

***

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