I Promise to Love Myself First, Before Attempting to Love Another.
To my friend, family, and companion,
I am a human.
Do not use me for your benefit only to turn around and leave me when you aren’t getting what you need from me anymore.
And for me, I promise to see you for what you are, and not what I want you to be.
Do not think I am you, because you don’t take the time to actually listen to me, because you are so wrapped up in yourself.
And I promise to learn to listen actively, to take an interest in who you are, and what you stand for.
Do not find me in my time of weakness and leave me when I’m strong.
And I promise to not love you only because you aren’t stronger than me, and then put you down when I have lifted you up higher.
Do not tell me you love me through only the eyes that you see me, and not listen to me when I explain to you that you are doing so. In this case, you are only seeing the good traits in me that you want to take for yourself. And when you have succeeded in taking them, you leave me dry and alone.
And I promise not to see you only for your potential and be disappointed when you don’t take my pointers on trying to change, because you probably didn’t enter into this to change.
Do not use me to fill your time that you are not sure what to do with.
And I promise to love myself first, before attempting to love another.
Do not use me as an ear for your insecurities and inability to be alone with yourself.
And I promise to learn how to be content alone and driven on my path.
Do not give me gifts, and shower me with compliments as a way into my soul because you see an opportunity where I am weak, and you know this will make me feel better temporarily.
And I will not put you on a high horse only to find that that sort of confidence goes no further than the surface.
Do not help me in my time of need only to later throw in my face that you have helped me, that is not unconditional.
And I promise that every gift I give will never ask for something in return. Because I know that that is not the way things work.
Do not expect me to have a warm heart when I didn’t see these things until I do.
And I will not blame you.
I just see you.
And so soon as I recognize the behavior, I won’t tolerate it.
What I allow into my life, I also become.
And I am becoming whole.
I have no other choice in the matter.
This is the love that I have to give.
Sheena Dressel is a writer, a scholar, a truth-seeker, an empath, and a warrior. Her journey started when she was deployed with the Army National Guard to both Iraq and Afghanistan. During these two deployments, she was awakened to a entirely new thought process. She was inspired to understand humans, culture, and war. When the Army was all said and done, she took a Yoga training that changed her mind (and heart) again. She was opened to concepts of love, compassion, and self-realization. These two experiences gave her a value system that became her training, and set the stage for her personal growth. She is currently receiving her Bachelors in Psychology at UNLV with an intent to get her Doctorate. Sheena wants to practice holistic style therapy. For now, she lives in the wild desert of Las Vegas, where she writes, studies, and works diligently in the direction of what fuels her. She strives to see the truth in what’s around her. Sheena is a Spiritual Scientist (an Alchemist) who believes strongly that we can all live in harmony in this diverse world.