poetry

Letting Go of Love: The Unspoken Part of a Breakup. {poetry}

 

Letting go of your lover
Losing your best friend
Surrendering the intimacy that it took hundreds of words, moments, kisses and living to create
Releasing a human being who was this close to your heart back into the ether to live an entirely new life separate from your heart again
Your confidant
Your person
Gone… moving on
Evolving in a new direction
Separation gets real
You miss them
Even though you don’t want to admit it yourself
You miss yourself around them
You miss the way they smelled, the way they touched you, or some random odd moment…
… and it sends you into the feels.

You protect your heart
You create boundaries
You attempt to enforce them
You dissolve boundaries and rebuild them a new way
You cry
You speak your truth
You pray
You write
You cry some more
You question your truth… and then speak it again with more conviction, you’re starting to believe it this time
You drink… a lot of water ’cause you need to hydrate from the tears
You choose to remove liquor from the equation
You say smart things
You say dumbass things
You say childish things
You say brilliant things that you’re just starting to believe and know
You are right
You are wrong
You speak clearly from your experience
You accuse
You apologize
You try, try and try again
You ask for help

You run excitedly into the uncomfortable
You cry again
You scream Fuck in the shower
You sob until you can’t breathe
You go to the water
You soak in the tub
You swim and float
You breathe
You vent
You take your own advice
You take your best friend’s advice
You take your mother’s advice
You laugh
You dance
You ecstatic-dance until you laugh or cry or both, you rage, you listen to your body and let it move more
You sing
You create
You ground
You receive, because people offer love and you need it now more than ever
You listen
You connect
You see clearly
You get very quiet to hear your soul speak
You heal with every ounce of energy you have to spare
You self-care like a boss
You feel
You commune with Nature, you definitely hug a tree or three
You open up, and you see the light ahead
You feel some more
oh, and did I mention you feel so much sometimes you swear your nerve endings have been severed, the pain is so intense and raw and real
Then you thank God, you can feel all of this
and holy crap, I am alive
You receive, because you are still loved, even though parts of you question it.
You receive because it is your birthright.
You love in all the ways you neglected to love him
You love in all the ways he taught you to love the world
You embody love more than you ever thought was possible
You forgive
You send good vibes to everyone you ever loved
Did I mention you cry?
You shower yourself with love in all the ways you forgot to while you loved him
You commit to a new relationship faster than you thought —
one with yourself,
because you’re beginning to remember
that you are actually your own best friend.
I am my person.
I am my confidant.
I am in my heart forever.
I choose me again and again.
Every time. Before anything or anyone.
I choose to honor me.
I am grateful.
I grab and hold tight to me and
Don’t let go.

***

Lynan Saperstein is an experience-creator and builder of bridges to transformational places around the world. While authentic marketing is her work, she has the heart of a poet, curating and guiding souls toward their highest and best life with every moment and every intentional word she writes and speaks. She is currently separating from a soulmate partner, healing to love again, and discovering her new purpose while traveling where the wind and her intuition take her.

***

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