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Healing means to restore health, integrity and wholeness; to make free of injury, disease or suffering.

It doesn’t have anything to do with making money, enlightenment, manifesting, running a business, having life go the way you want, or having all the shiny things.

Spiritual capitalism has done a great job in twisting all of these things together.

Not everything in life is a narcissistic extension of us.

Unfortunately, healing has become another way of attacking ourselves; to approach ourselves as these endless projects that we need to get right in order for all the things we are promised in this utopian capitalistic dream.

Healing is making us feel worse about ourselves rather than better. The medicine being peddled is not love but a clever disguise, the shadow masquerading as love and light.

Healing is sold to us as a product to be consumed (it’s not). An addiction to endless magic pills. Whole industries capitalize on it while gaslighting us and perpetrating the same traumas it claims to heal.

Most marketing purposely targets pain points, designed to trigger the feeling of insecurity, luring you in to some energy (or lifestyle or friend group) you perceive that you do not have but that you think you want, so you invest in it so that you are closer to that energy.

It’s built on creating the feeling of scarcity while shaming you for living in some lack mentality and judging you until you have done your work.

This is the death mother (thank you, Marion Woodman), the feminine side of the patriarchy. She feeds off of shame and control. She is alive and well. She is patriarchy’s wife.

Now there is this movement saying that we do not need healing, there is nothing to heal, that pain is an illusion, that we just need to remember who we are, come back home, that we are already whole and complete.

It is hard to remember something you have never known, and to come back home to a place you have never ever been before.

This is not new paradigm approach to ourselves, it is spiritual bypassing, denying the truth that there are real wounds and pain and shame and trauma. Denying wounding and trauma perpetuates it. It shames people who are suffering. It does not make it go away.

Human suffering is real.

There are those of us who are more comfortable in the density of it. There are some of us who are more comfortable in the light, even if it is false light. We either hide in our humanity or hide in our divinity, identifying with god and forgetting we are not god.

God is not a narcissist.

Shame is the ugly underbelly of our increasingly narcissistic consumer-driven culture.

Shame is unmetabolized pain.

We do need healing so that we can regain our collective sanity and restore human values of goodness and love and generosity to the forefront of our connections.

Healing has nothing to do with being a good spiritual person or getting the things you want or being enlightened.

The good, bad and ugly of life still happens, regardless of how spiritual or how much inner work you have done.

We must destroy the cords that connect spiritual capitalism to our souls before they choke us.

It is our very confusion of what it is to be human, this soul-wound in the heart of humanity, that requires love.

Love heals.

We need more love. We need to let go of our old paradigm notions of what healing is so we can restore the road home, turn the lights back on, and not remember who we really are but discover who we really are by shining the light and dusting off the cast-off bits, purging the grief stored up, dancing with joy, and finally being free.

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Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a shamanic healer, grief midwife, writer, teacher and soul-whisperer. She received her doctorate in clinical psychology from CIIS in addition to spending over 15 years studying and practicing Buddhism, Yoga, meditation, shamanic journey, ritual, energy healing and personal growth. She envisions a world where we feel comfortable in our own skins and are happy about being a human. A world where everyone loves and values themselves as a part of the whole, where self-loathing is an oddity rather than the usual, and the soul’s truth is valued as a gift from the Divine in service of our highest good. Shedding light on the truth of the soul’s story liberates the sacred within to feel comfortable in your own skin. You can follow Dr. Hetenyi on Instagram and find out more about her work on her website.

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