archives, you & me

What’s Your Dark Secret?


We all have secrets we don’t want anybody to know — about ourselves, our past, things we have done and feel ashamed of, and things we haven’t done that fill us with guilt.

Secrets keep us in hiding, in the shadow of our soul. Secrets take energy to hide, to conceal. They keep us in fear of someone else finding out, of having our secret revealed for the world to judge us, blame us, shame us and criticize us.

Secrets condition us into a false sense of reality, a false sense of being. They make us adapt our behavior and our belief systems. They have power over us, always threatening, always there under the surface ready to be exposed. Secrets keep us bound to events which happened in our lives, events which caused us to retreat into ourselves and put up barriers around our heart.

They keep us trapped in the past, caught in the threads of our unconscious, caught in the wounding and trauma which created the secret in the first place.

The energy of the secret is real, is palpable, and as we wander through our lives, we can feel the secret being triggered at any given moment. It triggers uncomfortable emotions, emotions we do not wish to feel, as the memories of the secret rise. So we bury it more, we suppress it more, we avert our attention from its power by checking out of our bodies and into our bad habits and destructive behaviors.

We do anything in our power to not feel it, not acknowledge it, not own it. And so we continue in the cycle of the unconscious pattern it has created, feeding on our vitality, and our natural life force.

Until the day comes when we decide enough is enough. When we decide we can no longer live this way. When we decide to take back our power and own the secret.

Making the decision takes courage and strength, both of which are part of our natural resources to change and transform. Resources we have forgotten how to use as we remain in the vicious circle, feeling powerless to change our reality. Resources we can now call upon if only we dare.

We must be daring. We must dare to sit in the darkness with our secret. To invite it into our awareness, as if inviting an enemy in for tea. As we sit there, in the darkness, giving ourselves permission to face the secret, we can see the memories it conjures up from the past, we can feel the emotions associated with it being stirred.

In this dark confined space, we open ourselves to welcome the secret as our teacher, asking what it has come to teach us, what lessons we need to learn from it about our past, our present and our future.

As we sit and converse with it, feeling its many facets, we come into knowing how it wove itself through our very being. How it protected us and kept us safe, an illusion of protection and safety that no longer has a place in our lives if we are to fully step into the truth of our soul.

The more we enter into this relationship with our secrets, the more we feel their binding threads fall away from our very being. We come to know them as our friends. No longer owned by them, we start to sense the liberation of our spirit. We become lighter, freer, as our default hostage state gently falls away. We come to know and understand ourselves at a much deeper level.

We come to understand the power of our own free will to change and transform. We come to understand our reality has been of our own making, due to the wounding and trauma we have been exposed to. We come, quite simply, to know thyself.


Nicola Lucie is a Shamanic Practitioner and Shadow Integration Coach, on a mission to help women change the world from the inside out through the potent magic of shadow work. She is the creator of the Shadow Walking Process, a unique 1:1 program to help women dissolve negative, limiting patterns, beliefs and behaviors to step up their game and impact the paradigm shift from within. Her unique Maiden, Mother, Crone workshop empowers the Feminine through shadow integration work. Her first book, Shadow Walking: Empowering the Spirit, Liberating the Soul Through Shadow Integration Work, is due to be released by the end of 2018. You could contact Nicola via her website.


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