Dear Masculine, Stop Wasting Your Heart on Cleaning up Messes.
Dear Masculine, stop compromising in the places you want to be met.
You think you won’t be loved for everything you are, so you ignore big pieces of your heart.
You are so careful about what you reveal, making sure you are always dependable instead of having to depend on anyone else.
Stop cleaning up your heart before you let someone in.
Stop putting away the parts that aren’t strong. The places in you that aren’t finished yet.
Stop making it so easy to get you.
A woman should have to earn you. Love you in the places that need love the most.
She should see beyond your sexuality, into the soul of you. No matter how hot it can be to be objectified.
Society says you are always sexually famished, so you feel you must be available to any living thing that opens its legs.
Always looking for the next best thing.
And if you don’t fuck someone hot and willing, you’re not really a man.
You have more pressure to fuck than I do. More anguish to face if you don’t.
Fucking takes away the pain for a bit. The burning of being alive. But it can also distract you from the truth.
It is easier for you to go numb in the places that should feel something. For you are taught to feel your sex only, anything else makes you weak.
What if you stopped making excuses for the sexy?
Stopped holding on to the unhealthy, just so you can get high off of their sex?
I am not asking for you to walk around like a sexual anorexic, but what about allowing yourself the dignity of indecision, of waiting, of involving your cock when your soul is being fed too?
To stoke the holy fire in your eyes is not always easy, and it is something you should ask of me.
I’d rather you demand that I show up, instead of putting out the fire of your emotion, making it easier to handle or to hold.
I refuse to watch you ignore your healthy needs for someone else that needs you.
Stop wasting your heart on cleaning up messes and calling it love.
I see too many of you settling for heartbreak and heart torture, but as long as you’re given a good fuck, you act satisfied.
What else should you want? You wonder. How dare you ask for more and outstay your welcome?
Keeping doors open long after they should be closed, not realizing the gift of your being.
Bending over backwards when you want to be standing upright.
Holding back your tears when you just need to come undone and be held for more than one night.
You are allowed to wait until your heart is on board.
You are allowed to say No.
You are allowed to demand more from a woman.
No longer compromising yourself or what you have been craving all these years.
You don’t have to sacrifice love to get good sex. You deserve both, and no longer have to settle for crazy anymore, just ‘cause you’re lonely.
You will be cared for. Deeply. You just have to be willing to settle for nothing less.
Here’s to settling for nothing less.
Maria Palumbo is a transformation coach. A lover of desire, she reveals the flame within all, and holds space for thriving and creating from a place of pleasure. She teaches freedom from shame and the embodiment of worthiness. You could email her to receive info on her coaching and classes, and follow her work at her website or Facebook.