Letting Go with Love.
It is within a person’s right to walk away.
It seems we all believe that relationships have to stick in order for it to mean anything. We get married with a false sense of forever, only to find ourselves either wanting to be the one who leaves or being the one who is left. We meet lovers and friends and other soul mates, and attach to this impossible idea that they will always be in our lives.
So what happens when someone decides they no longer want to participate in whatever dynamic is present in your relationship?
Well, if you are like me, perhaps you get angry. You feel abandoned or betrayed. You feel a deep sense of loss, or perhaps this notion that somehow you are flawed and not enough because said person does not desire to continue down whatever path you two were on.
Maybe there are some deep childhood wounds that get triggered and you begin to rationalize that love cannot be trusted, that people always leave, and that you are somehow not lovable enough for anyone to stay.
I see you.
So how do we heal this? How do we let go with love instead of anger?
I have one simple answer to this.
Yes, gratitude. I know it can be hard to find under the layers of hurt masquerading as anger, but a simple shift in perception can change your course and help you release your grip around the situation.
I recently heard this saying, You attract everything you need to heal.
Let’s break that down a little, because I know you might be thinking that some situations felt uncalled for or that you were not attracting specific events into your life. This isn’t to make whatever hurts somehow your fault, but rather to guide you towards a higher perspective and to take you to that magical place of gratitude I mentioned.
Here is one example I can give. Someone leaves you for someone else, or chooses to be in relationship with someone else, and walks away from you.
The triggering begins. How could so and so do this to me? What did I do wrong? Maybe if I was more like this person, he or she would have stayed. I am flawed. And so on.
The internalization process is something picked up from childhood. I won’t go into that too much in this article as that is a separate topic in and of itself, but that is where this starts. We take it personally.
On some level, it is personal as it is meant to teach us something about ourselves. From a soul perspective, perhaps there is something that needed to be learned and that person volunteered to be the lesson-giver in this life. Or perhaps you have been carrying around a lifetime of pain, then someone came into your life, and opened you up to worlds you’d never known.
Maybe you both experienced immense healing before said person upped and left for whatever reasons, and you are triggered with abandonment, rejection and betrayal.
Deep, core-wounding gets brought to the surface, not intended for you to hang on to and ruminate over, but to release once and for all.
Soul advancement equals ego release.
When we can take these challenges less personally in the sense that something is wrong with us, and can allow the lesson to help us release and heal what we are consciously or unconsciously hanging on to, then we are offered an opportunity for our souls to shine more fully while in these human bodies.
We can look at our own seemingly broken pieces and our sense of shattering as an opportunity to love ourselves that much more, and to become the person who does not leave us. We can begin to make new connections in the brain that stem from a healthier place, and therefore invite higher connections into our existence.
And in that, we can thank said person for reflecting to us what we may have not been able to see on our own.
We can understand that no one is perfect and we all have our own paths, with our own lessons and our own reasons for being here. We can understand that we do not own anyone, and no one outside of us is responsible for sticking around.
Give gratitude to everyone of course, but especially to the ones who hurt you, for they are merely reflecting to you the unhealed aspects of you.
There is a children’s book that I love, called The Little Soul and the Sun. It is about our souls before incarnating upon the Earth and the agreements we make with others before we find ourselves down here entrenched in our themes and stories. At some point within the book, there is a quote from the higher power that says, I have sent you nothing but angels.
We are all reflections of divinity. Source, god, goddess, or whatever you believe in, is within everyone and everything. All are sacred, valuable, and created perfectly in the Divine image.
Letting go with love involves your own willingness to see the sacred soul lesson and the willingness to offer gratitude to the ones who show up, whether they be for a lifetime or just a season.
We get to see ourselves more completely, and we get to remember that we do not own anyone and it is no one’s responsibility or duty to stick around. We do not demonize the lesson-givers, for god has sent us nothing but angels and it is within your right to see it that way.
Natalie Sophia considers herself a blend of many things, but mostly she identifies as a writer, intuitive guide, mama and yogini. She has a Masters Degree in Complementary and Alternative Medicine, and her passion lies in helping others heal from various forms of trauma. Her current methods of practice include a blend of creative expression, movement alchemy, energy work and nutritional guidance. She serves as a coach to assist others on their paths back to the perfection of their imperfection, so as to remember the brilliance contained therein. To contact her directly, please visit her on Facebook.