archives, wisdom

Unworthiness Does Not Exist in Nature.

There are no trees, flowers, plants, insects, elements or animals that worry that they are less than creation or better than all the others around them.

Everything exists together in delicate balance, one that is necessary for the benefit and survival of all.

Worth has nothing to do with being human.

It has been created via a culture that is based on economics rather than heart. It has more to do with giving value to what can be monetized and capitalized on as a resource. If there is no added value, ability to monetize something or use it as a resource to build more worth, then it isn’t seen as worthy.

This is a very sad thing. The very things that deeply nourish the soul of a human being are often not seen to be very valuable in an economics-based culture.

Worthiness dehumanizes the soul, stripping away the in-between nature of what it is to be a whole human being. We begin to treat the earth and other animals in this way.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the truth of who we are. Nothing. No matter how much you charge your worth or know your value, it will never quite satisfy the heart or quench the soul because you are not a commodity item available for sale, debate, opinion, forming, reducing, judging or dismissing.

Because worth has nothing to do with you.

These parts of being human that are most powerful — the elemental forces of nature coursing through your veins, the wisdom of every emotion pulling you towards wakefulness, and the beating of your heart with each breath –have no worth because they are beyond worth, they are nature and life itself.

This being human is an exquisite thing. Our design is to evolve through the constant dancing of our individual archetypal journeys from the shadow to the light. Every single one of us a particular manifestation of divine shadow and light needed to bring balance, wisdom, gifts and support to the whole.

We are the embodiment of the in-between. It is in between the shadow and the light that our gifts live, that we get to bring to life our extraordinary discoveries of what it is to embody this animal body with its wild heart that is plugged into the beyond that exists beyond the great beyond.

Divine consciousness is a great responsibility.

We must strip ourselves of spiritual materialism, where we can hide in costumes of worth and call out the wounds of others but live devoid of compassion, loving-kindness and the tenderness of the Elemental Feminine we all long for in our hearts.

It’s not that we are not worthy of love, it is that we are disconnected from her.

Unworthiness has no real place here in our lives. This has become another word to get us focus on fixing ourselves to gain more value and distracting us from really living.

Pain is what pulses beneath the stagnant experience of not being worthy. The more unmetabolized pain and grief we carry, the less worthy we will feel.

Pain feels bad.

When there is no place to go and metabolize our pain, to be mothered and held as a part of our cultural world (a vital part of human cultures over time not seen as ‘valuable’ in a commodity-driven culture), this pain gets stuck and goes inward.

Eventually, instead of being able to say, “I feel bad, this hurts, and I need to be held, loved or walked through this,” we start saying, “I feel so bad, I must be bad, and this pain is my fault.” We make money off of selling that your unworthiness is a story and your fault that you don’t have more resources, so you have to invest in yourself if you want to feel worthy.

Unworthiness is a red flag for unmetabolized pain. It is an indication of a feeling of a lack of internal resources or knowing of how to metabolize emotions, understand the language of emotions and dreams and inner signals, a disconnection from the innate wisdom of the living library that is the human body or connection to the pulsing of life dancing you from shadow to light.

It’s a signpost which reads Walk the other way so you can learn how to belong to yourself.

Unworthiness isn’t real. Your pain is. Your very real human condition is real. Maybe unworthiness could be said to be the new human condition, the endless searching for this ephemeral worth outside of ourselves. I think there are plenty of incredibly rich people who are so miserable that this whole platform is starting to give way.

Unworthiness doesn’t exist in nature.

You are nature itself embodied in human form.
You aren’t worthy or unworthy.
Maybe you just need more of the right support and love on this human journey.

This is the learning of healing our inner parents, so the wounds feeding the economics of our world cease to do so any longer. Because, you are all the things from shadow to light, and this, my dear, is an exquisite thing.


Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a psychospiritual healer, soul mentor and writer. She has carved out her own path based on 20+ years of clinical experience and an equal amount of time studying and practicing Buddhism, yoga, meditation, shamanic healing, ritual and energy healing. After recovering herself from addiction and experiencing an awakening to her soul, she fused her knowledge of psychology and trauma with both her studied and lived experience of shamanic and Buddhist healing modalities, creating an innovative approach to healing the soul wound at the root of so much addiction, shame and ongoing trauma. You can follow Dr. Hetenyi on Instagram and find out more about her work on her website.


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