You Don’t Need to Be Stuck in Stories.
Nature’s in charge of healing, because healing is what happens all of itself, given the right conditions — like cleanliness, lack of blockage, things being in the right place (sometimes bones need setting, tumors need removing).
You can’t make or force healing though. She won’t conform to your conditions. You have to conform to hers.
So the process of healing isn’t about the healer, it’s about you, you’re the field in which it arises. Just as you don’t need to be stuck in any of your stories, you don’t need to conform to your healer’s or teacher’s stories about you either. If you’re getting what you need, then soak that in… healing is very likely to occur.
If what you need is just not coming though, it’s not usually the case that it will arrive if you just stay longer and commit more. If an animal doesn’t get the food supply it needs in one place, it moves to another.
If someone in a healing role tells you that you’re resisting, ask yourself if this is true.
The therapeutic story about resistance has been enslaving people’s experience from the times of Freud.
In a masterful catch-22, the conviction arose in therapeutic theory that if therapy was not working for you, that meant you were resisting. That if you did not agree with the therapist’s interpretation, you were caught in transference, being dictated to by unconscious motivations or in denial of the truth. The more you protested, the more you proved yourself to be crazy.
This story is built on a power imbalance, and an assumption is that the therapist’s interpretation is always necessarily correct. In my opinion, these are conditions which make a gaslighting situation quite likely to occur.
What if the therapist, due to a lack of self-examination, is in denial about the fact that they have totally failed to meet the client’s needs? This probably happens a lot more often than clients suspect. The classic therapeutic setup leads them to blame themselves.
If they don’t and get angry about not having their needs met, this is likely to add fuel to the fire of the unconscious or simply unethical healer, who will use that anger as more proof that you have a story playing out that is the whole reason you came for healing and a reason you should stay there.
If this is ringing any bells for you, ask yourself if the story the healer or therapist is telling about you is true. You can ask yourself, because you are the one who knows. You are the only one who knows, and a good healer or therapist will simply be providing you with optimum conditions to get to what you know and fully live it. No more, no less.
If your thoughts and feelings are scary, overwhelming, or just cluttered and loud, you might find it easier with another person present — so find the person with whom you feel the most safe and free.
In fact, always find the person with whom you feel the most safe and free.
The rest does itself.
Sarah Luczaj (PhD) is a counselor/therapist, Reiki master, writer, poet, originator of the Creative Regeneration process (which brings together meditation, focusing, free-writing and intuitive painting) and co-founder of the terrealuma healing refuge, on a wild and secluded permaculture farm. She facilitates Creative Regeneration in various ways, from live group sessions, through month-long online courses, to 6-month intensive one-to-one activations, to get people plugged back into their natural state of bliss and power. Sarah is mainly based in Glasgow, and has two daughters.