We Have No Idea We Aren’t Being Authentic.
Most people think they’re being authentic.
So when we go around telling people they should be authentic, it’s kind of like, Okay, duh, of course I’m being authentic, of course I’m being myself. Who else could I be?
Ask anyone and they’ll tell you they’re being authentic. They’ll look you straight in the eyes and insist they’re serious about authenticity.
I know people who self-identify as incredibly advanced humans who, because I can feel the dissonance in their energetic system, I am clear they aren’t being authentic, but they usually have no idea. These people are actually the trickiest because they got advanced because they feared not being advanced, and so to discover they’re actually a novice in terms of self-expression is a threat to their spiritual identity.
These ones have the hardest time getting to the deepest parts of their own authentic expression, because the pathway to doing so feels a lot like failure for them.
Others still will tell you until the cows come home that they are fully authentic, but in the privacy of their own minds, they know the truth: they don’t know how to be, because they can’t access the parts of themselves they can’t see. They have trauma that has hindered their memories and blinded them to certain parts of themselves as a necessary function of survival.
There is literally nothing they can do about this if they attempt it alone — no book, no podcast, no amount of self-journaling is going to help.
I’ll tell you what:
Few people are authentic all the time. Few. Like, a very very small percentage. These people rarely talk about being authentic because they are authentic, and it’s such an integrated part of them that it’s literally not worth mentioning.
And most have no idea they aren’t being authentic (and so they talk about it all the time). Like, the vast majority of people are clueless to this fact, and are living in some form of delusion about it.
We have no idea how to author our own lives. We have no idea how to express ourselves (truly, genuinely, as a loving being). We have no idea what that feels like in our own bodies even if we could tell you in detail what it looks like in others (and here, too, we are deluded and don’t always understand what authenticity actually is).
So, don’t be so hard on yourself, and do what you can to get the support you need to become authentic.
Heal your trauma. Embody and integrate your experiences. Learn to listen to and feel your heart. Get humble and stay there. Recover. Reconcile.
Because being authentic isn’t just about finally creating a life where people love you for who you truly are (though this is of course a huge part).
It’s also about authority, personal power, and authorship.
Until you know who you are, edgy wild bits and all, and set your life up to continue meeting yourself anew in every moment, you’ll be haunted by the parts of you that remain a mystery.
Antesa Jensen is an emotional intelligence and human-centric innovation expert who has dedicated herself to coaching her clients on how to evoke the genius in themselves and in others through 1:1 coaching, workshops, and transformational expeditions through her company, Adventure Awake. Read more about her and her services on her website or follow her on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.