Get Real, Grab Your Inner Excavation Tools.

“What you think about you bring about.” “You create your own reality.” “Good vibes only.”

No way. I can’t buy this. I mean, at one time I did… and then after my love affair with The Secret was over, I found myself sitting in a pool of my own shame and self-loathing. Why couldn’t I manifest my reality? Why couldn’t I think positively all the time? What was wrong with me?

What I discovered was that there was nothing wrong with me. Here’s the thing, shit happens. We are on Planet Earth. We are spirits in the material world and the material world is a seriously mixed bag. Sukha, Duhkha. What goes up must come down.

So why has our culture (at least in some circles) become so enamored with this? Maybe because we love pain. Or maybe because we like to cause others shame. Or maybe when things are really bad for someone, it’s easier for us to pass it right back on to them, instead of really looking and feeling into it with them, because that would be seriously uncomfortable.

And why is it uncomfortable? Because until we take a long look at ourselves, another person’s pain and suffering will trigger us, and we will want to run for the hills. I know this because this used to be me. I have suffered at the hands of another and I have caused the suffering — for others and for myself.

What I am acutely aware of is how much pain and damage this New Age spin on an ancient teaching has caused — not just to me but to the many others I have met over the years as well.

Yes, there is some truth here, but it doesn’t happen after a month of positive affirmations when inside you still feel like a piece of crap. If your inner intentions are still the same as when you started, then no amount of positive vibe-ing will change this.

Real inner work has to be done. Grab a pickaxe and start chipping away at the ugly shit you want to ignore. Invite those ugly bits in for a chat. See what they have to say, and love them like the lost little orphans that they are.

At least, that’s what I’m doing, and it seems to be working. Now I am a more naturally positive person. I laugh a hell of a lot more, and I see things differently. My perspectives are shifting, and I have a deep inner sense of being okay.

This shift occurs from the inside out, organically and in its own time. I won’t lie, this change has taken a long-ass time and I am still a work in progress! My guess is the amount of time will vary for each of us, depending on what we’ve experienced. The thing is, it’s never too late to begin. It’s a wild, weird, wonderful, and sometimes painful, unfolding that can start at any time.

What the world needs now is your real, and if you’re feeling the pull to get real, grab your excavation tools, it’s time to get curious.

Real vibes only.


Stephanie Gray is a creative self-discoverist, artist and writer. She facilitates creative self-discovery out of her home studio in Kansas City, MO. Find out more on her website or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.


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