There Is More to You Than the Attached Self.
Have you ever thought you are inhabiting a self, yet you feel completely outside of it at the same time?
That there is something more to your self, that you’re playing a role, that can drive you to do things that are counter-intuitive to your truth, your dreams, your magic?
Or does it all feel natural, because you receive approval from others, and therefore it is conducive to your happiness? But is it really what you want? Or are you a victim of your attachments, your distractions and your fears? Would you want to live another way?
Are you realizing you are attached to earthly pleasures? Can you see the difference between the self that is attached and the self that is just your essence, you? Ego and you? Heart and mind? Duality?
What a strangely beautiful phenomenon, realizing this duality. You can reap the rewards of social approval, while realizing there is more to you. Endless possibilities, limited by self-deprecating beliefs. Possibly euphoric, but also incredibly agonizing. Agonizing in the loneliest sense. Especially in a society that doesn’t see it.
I think to myself how some people can differentiate between the two while some are completely lost on either side. It has left me with a feeling of isolation, standing in a snowbank.
It makes for one question: is duality awareness trained, or is it intrinsic?
Could social conditioning be responsible for a lack of duality awareness? It could be stripped from us humans year by year through being indulged completely in your ego; we’ve lost touch with ourselves and we’ve found conformity with our neighbors.
Our attached self, our fearful self, will always migrate towards the crowd, it will always be a branded cow. We must conform to get along in capitalism. We all must agree, even if we don’t. The human experience is essentially unique due to this divide. The self and the collection.
Not to say conformity is a terribly negative thing, but this type of conformity veers us away from our own fire, own flow, our own creativity. Think about when you were a child. Are we doing things for ourselves, or for others’ approval?
After years of the real world, look at everyone — scared of not being busy, scared of having nothing to do, unable to be by themselves, completely caught up in what is outside of themselves, out of their control. Dependent on something else to make them happy. Must push myself, because the self I am right now isn’t good enough. We are scared to just be. To just enjoy.
So people begin feeling anxious. Because they are living outside of themselves, dependent on what everyone else is doing, and not being aware of the magic energetic reckoning that is going on inside of them. Not realizing that this can be reckoned with. You can stay true to yourself, your freedom, in very positive waves.
However, we feel guilty to be this happy over just living, just being yourself, just loving life. Only a crazy person can sit there and laugh with themselves, and feel so good for just living. No, that is not acceptable. We think we don’t deserve it. We are conditioned to think we don’t deserve it. You can only be happy if you have this, or that, or the next thing.
We are given the gift of life, but we want to just keep taking, searching for things we will absolutely never find.
In your self, you will find it.
Taylor Smith is a visionary, an artist, an athlete, an educator, a nature dweller, an idealist, and she holds a vision of peace for the world that entails sustainability, living in harmony with nature and each other, a world where there is balance, truth and integrity. Having been a traveler for quite a few years, she is now homing in on her mission in this lifetime which is to embody these values through inspiring others to create the world she (and many others) envision.