Let All Your Emotions Flow Through You.
Everybody is happy. Everybody is perfectly satisfied with their life. Their love relationships are going perfectly, and they are beaming with contentment.
Well, that’s how it all looks to me. Am I the only one who is a complete mess, who wouldn’t know a loving relationship if it fell into my lap?
Why do we all do this? Why do we go about our lives acting as if everything is fine? As if everything is so okay, when actually inside, sometimes, we are completely dying? When I look at other people’s lives, I start to wonder if I am the only person whose life is a challenging beautiful mess.
I used to think I was cursed. Cursed to always wear my heart on my sleeve. If I am feeling an emotion, you will know it. I am terribly useless at putting on a brave face. I tried to practice a resting bitch face, or an impassive face, but it just never worked. My feelings are right there, plastered all over my face, for all the world to see.
If I want to cry, I cry, there is no holding back. And believe me, I try. I try and try and try. I promise myself I will never behave like that again. And afterwards, after I have bawled in public, often in front of people I barely know, I feel awful. I judge myself like the harshest critic, asking myself, “What must those people think about me? They must think I am completely emotionally unbalanced!”
I always promise myself I won’t repeat that behavior, but before you know it, there I go, crying again! And of course it’s not just crying. I show all my emotions. I show great joy constantly too. So much so, that someone once told me that they could never imagine me not smiling. But interestingly enough, it’s only showing the negative emotions that I am concerned about.
And there is that double standard we have operating in our society, that preoccupation with only showing positive emotions, and it is this exact standard that keeps us all emotionally unwell.
Our current society paradigm has taught us to be ashamed of some of our emotions. So we bottle some of them up. We hide them. And we push them down. Down deep. Very deep.
I thought about the sky today, and how to me it is a canvas of emotions. The very embodiment of emotions. The sky shows all its emotions with great beauty. Its anger and rage flash like thunder and lightning. Sometimes it is grey and cloudy. Sometimes the sun shines brightly. And sometimes, the rain pours down and down and down. It doesn’t judge its emotions as good or bad.
It doesn’t care what other people think about its glorious display of power and strength. It lets it all show. And guess what? All of this, the rain and the sun, they makes things grow. They simply makes things grow. And not just grow, they absolutely flourish.
The thunder and the lightning, they have their purpose too. They clear out our energy and they provide that flash of illumination, lighting up the night sky, the darkness, and show us what we just couldn’t see before we totally lost our shit.
Let’s not forget the rainbows. Glorious rainbows, amazing colors for all of us to see. This is the beauty representing the colors of our emotions.
I’m no longer going to be ashamed of how emotional I am. Not any more. Because today I reflected on the truth that maybe because I do let my emotions flow through me, that might be the main reason I am so happy on the flip side.
I also reflected on how whenever we hear that someone has killed themselves, 9 times out of 10 we will say that they seemed so happy, and that they looked fine the last time we saw them. We often had no idea they felt that way, or were so unhappy. That’s how serious this business of hiding emotions is. It’s deadly serious.
So please, let your emotions flow through you. Be the river. Let everything flow. Don’t dam it up. Be the sky. Let the raw beauty of you flash across your sky to light up the darkness of your night.
Because when you give yourself permission to honor the beauty of you, in every way that beauty comes, when you allow yourself to be truly vulnerable, you step into your true power. The power of you. At the same time, you provide the space to allow others to feel safe to express how they truly feel too.
Your ability to be vulnerable shows the greatest courage of all. It’s not weakness. It is true power and it empowers others. Every time.
So from today, I give myself permission to be that person who is crying, that person who is angry, that person who lays it all out for everyone to see. That person who wears their heart and all their emotions on their sleeve.
My sky will rage and pour and shine the fuck out of everything. And in that way, I will grow. I will so grow! And I won’t be stopped! My emotional river will carve canyons through the densest rocks of darkness.
Kim Turfrey is a mother and lover of life who lives in New Zealand and has spent a lifetime working with plants as well as Earth and Spiritual energies in order to find healing for herself and others. Being born with the gift of disability has enabled her to see the world through different eyes, and develop a deep love and gratitude for life. She works with people all around the world through the vehicle of her business Confirmations of Self, and empowers them with sets of tools that enable them to identify and move through the current and future challenges they face in the unification process. If you would like to contact Kim for enquiries about this work, you can get hold of her via email or Facebook.