you & me

We All Deserve True Connection in Sacred Sexual Union.


The act of coming into sexual union with another human being is a sacred act.

Whether you hold awareness of this or enter in one unconsciously, joining together sexually allows for an exchange between yourself and the other person, as consciousness, DNA, emotions and energy are exchanged.

Energetically and even physically (through the DNA), this exchange will remain with you for the rest of your life, so you and I need to ask ourselves, is this person someone I would like to be like? Do they, or would they, add value to my state of being or consciousness?

To me, sex has never been about need. Even as a very young person, I held the knowledge that the act of sex was an example of a sacred union, and so I have had very few partners in this lifetime. Sex to me has always been about union and true intimacy. I have experienced sex without intimacy, and knew pretty fast that was not an experience I wanted to repeat.

Intimacy can only be created by honesty and commitment to communication. Intimacy is about realizing that the perfect person or partner doesn’t exist. We all show up to relationships carrying our old wounds, traumas or baggage from life or other unions.

True intimacy is about creating space for you both to show up willing to face who your truly are, all your wounds and the ability to allow yourself to become truly vulnerable. We need to be aware that it is never one person who brings discordant energy to a partnership. We project our own fears and wounds onto our love interest and recreate our same patterns over and over. We are their mirror, and they are ours.

As a human being, none of us can say we are ever truly healed. We are all in a state of healing or not healing. As we go about just living and being a person, we are either creating more wounds for ourselves or healing old ones. There is no middle ground. Holding space and love for each other in this process creates true intimacy. When you show up naked and vulnerable and are still loved, that is true intimacy.

Having high standards when it comes to sexual unions means you may spend months or even years without being in a union. But ask yourself, what is the alternative? Being in pain and engaged in lower sexual encounters that hold no deeper meaning? Being in a relationship that does not meet your deeper needs for true love language and intimacy? 

I know what I choose. Use your time being out of union to heal your personal wounds. And along with healing, we must detach from our scars and traumas. If we don’t detach from our past experiences, we will carry those into our future unions.

A good sign that we have detached from previous traumatic relationships is that we wish the person no malice. We are neutral and thankful for the learning and light we had shone on ourselves from the experience. Always remember we attract what deep down in our hearts we think we deserve. It starts within us. Your own level of self-love will be reflected back at you.

If you are not in a space of deep love for yourself, you will attract deep painful lessons that will show you where you still need to heal. For it is only when we feel completely lost that we are put back on to the path of finding ourselves and our own personal road to healing again.

Love and true sacred union are the highest paths to ascension and awakening, through the path of the sacred chamber of the heart. Many souls yearn for a sacred union, but this is not an easy path.

A sacred union demands that you first come into union within your own self. A union of the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine within you. A true creation of the Hieros Gamos, which is the inward manifestation of the marriage of the Christ and Sophia within all of us, male or female.

It is an inner journey or initiation that unites the inner polarities of male and female energy within us, and is then reflected out into the world in the form of a divine union and a dissolution of the forces of duality. To attain spiritual freedom through unity.

God consciousness represents unity, the idea that we are all one. Devil consciousness represents separation, the idea that we are many, hence the Devil is called Legion in the Bible.

Being in a sacred union is something we all should realize we deserve. Not just empty sex, but true connection. I once moaned and cried to my higher power, “Why is this so hard?” The answer I received was, “You said you wanted a sacred union. You didn’t think it would be easy, did you?” The moral of the story is, be careful what you ask for, but know that it is so worth it. Nothing good in life ever came easy. 

Let’s all join in true connection and higher forms of intimacy as we are all designed to do.


Kim Turfrey is a mother and lover of life who lives in New Zealand and has spent a lifetime working with plants as well as Earth and Spiritual energies in order to find healing for herself and others. Being born with the gift of disability has enabled her to see the world through different eyes, and develop a deep love and gratitude for life. She works with people all around the world through the vehicle of her business Confirmations of Self, and empowers them with sets of tools that enable them to identify and move through the current and future challenges they face in the unification process. If you would like to contact Kim for enquiries about this work, you can get hold of her via email or Facebook.


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