I Feel…: Seeking Balance in Life’s Pendulum. {poetry}


Moments of life take us on a swing ride — expected pleasures provide happiness and unexpected events summon untold grief.

With the passage of time, both seem to be meaningless and temporal.

The search for eternal bliss commences by critically analyzing the ideas of philosophers, the science behind life and death, and the principles behind religion, i.e. an intellectual approach towards remediation. A root cause analysis that relies on continuous dissection and decomposition ensues.

While this approach has its merits to comprehend the vagaries of the universe and its consequences, seldom does it suggest personalized solutions for the future. With each forthcoming situation bringing its own shades of nuances, the possibility of a holistic solution will continue to evade us.

Conflicting interpretations regarding salvation impel us to transcend religious borders into the realms of spirituality. At times, the plethora of philosophical dogmas that are supposed to assist does just the opposite and convolutes us.

An alternative method would propel towards an inward expedition deep into the annals of mind and consciousness. The quest to identify our self, which seems trivial to begin with, turns out to be much more complex than the infinite universe. An approach that rests on introspection might turn out to be the elixir. But is there a scientific method for internal exploration to find who we truly are?

Advaita Vedanta is one option. Ancient, philosophical, dialectical reasoning with fundamentals of falsification woven into it.

This poem, more aptly defined as a train of thought, attempts to transcribe the enormous mix of experiences felt over the years to a vernacular medium limited by vocabulary. While the first two sections could be termed as factual, the third one is more aspirational in nature.

It is also an attempt to reach the inner thoughts of fellow seekers, who are looking to maintain a certain kind of active stillness between the lows and the rising high tides of life. As we continue to follow various paths, this poem strives to abstract words of wisdom from our ancestors not to emulate but experience it firsthand.

Finally, it is a call to look within, rise beyond our reflections and experience our true self — a self where bliss is non-intermittent, truth is eternal, and experience is unaltered by the dimension of time.


The Nadir

Torn between travails
Deserted by ideologues
Pierced by suffering
I become empty.

Stranded by relationships
Shielded with empathy
Conciliatory notes abound
I feel lonely.

Stifled by stigma
Stricken with grief
Struggling woes around
I am hopeless.

The Zenith

Celebrations galore
Laughter permeates
Praises surround
I feel impermanence.

Joyousness in the air
Myriad support
Mustering merriness
I recognize a void.

Desires fulfilled
Pursuits accomplished
Identity objectified
I feel mortal.

The Equilibrium

A voyage of self-enquiry
Misconceptions clarified
Intellect demolished
I feel delight.

Emotions eradicated
Hindrances obliterated
Mirage dispelled
I recognize truth.

Superimpositions banished
Ego annihilated
Tranquility prevails
I am.


Jose Ranjit Michaelraj is a consultant by profession, who advises investment management firms to integrate processes and systems efficiently. Personally, he is exploring multiple paths to achieve inner harmony. Brought up in dusty, charming Tamil Nadu settlements that are just a stone’s throw away from historical monuments, Jose has made the quiet, serene Pittsburgh his current home. He has started to digitize his thoughts recently at In Search of ‘I’.


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