Help Yourself Grow Resilience: Self-Care Prerogative.


In challenging times, without friends nearby or colleagues to bounce ideas off of, we become more insular and forget how to reach out. This in turn can compound anxiety.

With fear and history locking us into negative thought patterns, the following self-care prerogative creed is here to soothe, help and restore thoughts to more positive affirmations. Reducing anxiety and building confidence and self-belief is at the heart of this.


Self-care is not just a ‘nice to do’, it is essential.
Comparison is an act of violence against yourself. Self-sabotage.
As a child, something happened to initiate that response.
Maybe feeling a sense of no control or fear.

That was your parents’ own fear and doubt about themselves and each other, not you, and not your fault.
You are no longer a child, yet carry that lesson like a childish millstone.
You are, and have always been, enough.
To help guide younger souls, it is useful to fix your own emotions yourself first.
Just like an oxygen mask on a flight.

Do the things that relax the mind. Meditation, hypnotherapy, Re-frame thoughts. Yoga.
Eat well, eat slowly, sleep enough, have a long bath. Hydrate with the good stuff.
Confidence grows through connections with others.
We are pack animals of varying degrees.

Start small, one to one.
Reach out, just a little.
Ask after someone, make the effort.
You will feel good afterwards.

Or ask for help, rather than the same old feedback loop. That is brave.
Breathe, deep belly breaths — calm and slow, exhaling negativity, breathing in resourcefulness.
You are unique, and you never require validation for being you.
Just remember that no one truly has all the answers.

The more you let go of rigid beliefs, the more you realize that all you have learned in life and everything you have gone through is there to help you grow more resilience.
And it is not the good stuff which makes us grow, believe me.
The fear is not about the extraordinary, it is about the ordinary — when life calms down, when dramas cease to get a response,
What then?

Turn to the Tao Te Ching. Its teachings tell of marveling at the simple things in life. Celebrating the ordinary leads to the extraordinary taking care of itself.
Then to have passed that knowledge on to others means you have truly accomplished something worthwhile. It is defining, it builds good relationships for others.
We have two hands, one to help ourselves and one to help those who need help.
We are interconnected, not dissected.

Nobody is perfect, and so much time is wasted over fear of not being good enough when in fact you are more than enough.
Slow the thoughts and turn them positively in your direction — it starts with how you talk to yourself.
Your inner child requires nurturing before nurturing others.
So be kind, be forgiving, be fun, just be. Be you.
When you do this, it gives others permission to be themselves also.

Insightful adults are change agents for children when they demonstrate they can love well and know how to take care of themselves.
Take the time to love yourself.
This is the self-care prerogative.
You spend more time with you than anyone else. Tell yourself each day you are enough.

One day it dawns on us all that we never need to search far for acceptance of who we are.
Self-belief comes from within, unravelling with each affirmation. When it does fully shine, we are enlightened and attracts positivity and belief in return.

Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create behaviors. Behaviors are supportive or destructive — it is a choice and, as an adult, one you have control over.
Trust this kind advice. It’s all true.
You have got this.


Alison Arrowsmith is a retired therapist who lives in the English non-metropolitan county of Northumberland.


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