What I Really Seek Is Silence. {poetry}


The following is inspired by a notion of reaching awareness that true peace is the state we can experience when we are ready to shed our old skin of learnt beliefs and patterns of behavior that emotionally bind us to past traumas and painful memories.

I seek you by legging
from fields of auras
puzzling jigsaws of thought patterns
questioning the reasons
for meet-ups with old fears
long-term body’s tenants
I seek you in her warmth
when cold in solitude

But I seek you also
during internal excursions
where inspired thunderbolts of omniscience
grace my crown
and strokes with encouragement
my hands chiseling away
reflections of experience
filtered through the feelings
And when I find you there
I wish it could last a whole lifetime

I seek you during breaks
between last and next positions
on my to-do list
when left brain is dreading
these long quiet breaths
I seek your state in other states
In frequently in-taken
grey swirling swarms
with the heavy smell of daddy’s hug
and wry smile
of familiar detachment

I seek you
in molding opinions
others’ choices
for getting a pat on the back
I seek you in greed
passion of feeling desired
In looking away
from reminiscence of
dislikes spotted in a mirror
of shop windows
where they sell examples
of perfect human beings

I am human with a mind
that is scared to feel
and has learnt, believed
that I need to arm myself
with inventions helping find you
I seek you when despising
the curious dance
of my stomach butterflies
music orchestrated by eternal self
asking thoughts to listen
I seek you in turning a blind eye
on poisonous sweetness
eating away my chi
calling again for more
from the pit of wormholes of neediness

I seek you
punched in the gut
by turbulent waves of changing moods
desert storms of psychic weather
and the extinguishing sun of mine
blazing beneath the heart
I seek you following my footprints
on a path of pleasure and pain
where I will never find you

It’s like a madman throwing dice
with the number 1 painted on
every single wall
expecting that this time
he finally will throw a 6
It’s like calling for a locksmith
when I’ve simply forgotten
what the key’s supposed to look like

I seek you when the thought
like a stencil
takes me on another trip
to the center of the battlefield
Where archetypal armies
try outwitting themselves
with their best intentions
obscuring the truth
that what I really seek
is buried deep beneath
layers upon layers
of white noise
otherworldly and word-free
whispers asking me
to just sit with me.


Krzysiek Mlodzik is an intuitive artist, poet and writer. He loves creating all that emerges from the deepest wells of his being, all that comes from memories of boundless universal freedom encoded in cells of his body. Krzysiek loves spirituality, psychology, astrology and shadow work, and these themes are massively reflected in his work. And… he’s pretty philosophical by nature..


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