I knew because of the way I felt and the emotions I was receiving, I had harnessed something special. The spirit called me and I knew I had to learn more about Yoga. I wanted to learn about Pranayama, chakras, divine callings, asanas, heart openers, tradition and mantras. I didn't know if I wanted to be a Yoga teacher but I knew I wanted to delve deep into the practice; I just wanted to live life, experience life, live the journey, not worry about the destination. This is really what living is about, right?
I raise my hand,
aware that this act will not be well received.
I do not care.
This is not about me.
This is about my sisters
who were burned at the stake for their defiance.
This is about my sisters
who are murdered
for their gender
and sexual expression
As we grow and change as humans, so do our relationships. I understand this, just as I understand that at the end of the day, we have to learn to be our own pillars of strength. We need to learn to claw our way out from the jowls of hell of our own creation that we throw ourselves into of our own accord.
I wish we all received the same kind of instruction about our bodies. I wish that as soon as we became body-conscious, we had been taught to never copy someone else's physical lines, to never attempt to make another's lines our own.
Society lies to us when it bombards us with what love looks like, how we must look like to be pretty and feminine, to be masculine, to be good God-fearing people – we are surrounded by lies. How then do we challenge those lies to find our true truth? What would our lives be like without all the lies? Who would we become, how would we move in the world, interact with others, how would we love? How many people have been driven insane by their own lies? How many have committed heinous crimes based on their own lies? How many people have stayed in relationships that were bad because of lies?
Every night he tucked her in,
his folds of thickest fur,
he loved to watch her color rise
as warmth enveloped her,
and sometimes in her deepest sleep
he'd see a bit of cheer
in the lifted corners of her mouth,
the one he held so dear.
"First, you'll watch Steve do me," said Wendy in her soft voice. Her dark curls framed her porcelain skin and full lips. She was about my age. On the wall behind her was a poster of a recent award-winning film. I realized she was a filmmaker, like me, and it occurred to me that this would make a great scene in a Woody Allen film.
In casting off your armor, you now sit in the world naked with baby flesh that needs caring for. And your belief needs to be in the newly exposed self that you barely know. And you have to get to know it, believe in it and care for it, all at the same time.
Thank you to my ten ten heroes, one manager, She and Angel -- the profundity of your presence and the gifts as a result of your actions: all quiet, loving and frightful have had a ripple effect on how things can be better in our world -- because of your courage in being who you are and nothing more. The messy, beautiful you. And I know it will continue to do so.
I hope you know how loved you are.
I hope you know it in your marrow and
in the space between heartbeats.
I hope the weight of it crushes you.
I hope it obliterates your preciousness and untruths.
I hope you wake up
In its small boat, let compassion put up its white flags of hope that stretch in the fierce wind, and sail on the ocean of your beautiful and complex life, far out to the horizon of hope and possibilities.
A child is born from its mother in a small room. It grows from within her and comes out a hole in her body that's invisible. It's like a magic portal that only doctors can see. She brings the baby home and cares for it as it grows up. Once the baby is old enough to care for itself, her parents are no longer needed. They are taken away by God and the baby is alone. Now the baby must become a mother.
You see, I have a disease. It's called Dissatisfaction Disorder. Its main symptom is an inability to appreciate the present moment, coupled with a drive to do and be more, accompanied by the nagging fear that this is as good as it gets.
There are many who have difficulty moving forward in their lives because of the weight of their own karma. They become paralyzed, unable to make constructive headway, constantly worrying about what lies ahead of them due to their past actions.
She was, of course, hesitant. After years and years of looking after others, was it time for someone to look after her? Her big, dark, beautiful eyes stared at me and questioned whether they were, in fact, seeing what they saw. I could tell that she needed me, and I her.
Like every other practice, with repetition and re-enforcement, I am learning to minimize the negative forces in my life by removing my energy and focus from them. I focus on the good, the possibilities, and gratitude for all things awesome that are in my life at the moment.
at the tinkling laughter of a stranger before
just because I was feeling a little lonely.
a little too verklempt.
Oh yes, too verklempt, indeed.
My mouth set in a decidedly twitchy black and pitchy frown.
Dreams of the end of the world -- the intricacies of which rivaled any apocalyptic blockbusters of Hollywood. From a very young age, we were prepped; warned that we might be split up from our family, tortured and tested.
I smile and close my eyes, imagining the wind is salty, fresh and reeking of a place beyond America’s shores, and that the crunching below my feet is not broken glass but shell shards, rocks and endless grains of sand.
Is there any greater cliché than the ability a caterpillar has to transform into a butterfly? Is there anything more fundamentally magical in the natural world? When the caterpillar is in a cocoon, its entire body basically turns into a jello-like substance, utterly disintegrating so it can re-crystallize into something wholly new. I can't help but think the caterpillar has no idea what he is getting into when he wraps himself so tight, frozen as his body parts dissolve at their seams.
Learning to listen to the messages of our emotional, mental and physical body helps us to stay in better contact with our intuition. This makes us see and choose only what keeps us healthy, happy and vital.
This beginning that I have worked hard for is only a beginning. It is a desire that grew within me and longed to be made manifest. Of course it is still an unended question. It is as new as the first sentence on a rough draft that is going nowhere -- just a tumble of thoughts longing to find shape and form.
As the Earth's super technology flows through the river of humans and life as a whole, we will step into the shoes of monumental consciousness. We can find our true nature by organizing our thoughts in an ideal manner.
I believe in minimalism and simplicity. I like getting rid of waste. I think that eliminating the inessential is one of the best ways to make life easier, make good habits more automatic, and make you grateful for what you do have.
Over the last new moon cycle, every single goddamned demon I thought I had faced reared its gruesome head to remind me that nope, they're still very much there. As diligently as I've been working to fight them, I've been putting just as much energy into ignoring them.
I have a habit of building someone up in my mind to the point of dehumanization. They are no longer a human being capable of faults and mistakes. They become a magical creature that has captivated my attention.
I never thought I was trying to change you.
I suppose some part of me knew
that your love was a half-assed poem
shoved in the back pocket
of the pants you purchased
when you were still trying to impress me.
But I am still trying to impress you.
I am still forcing you into poems
like microscopes, hoping I can find something
in the seventeen thousand four hundred and twenty seven seconds
you have spent staring at me,
other than everything you wanted me to be
that I never was.
I suppose the goddess inside
of me was tired of being ignored.
By Terri DeMontrond
Being human and mortal, we all live, love and experience loss… no exceptions.
Are there redemptive qualities for the deepest of losses? This is the story of me and my daughter Misty, and how I didn’t get to say goodbye before she died. Today I try to live my life as if there may be no time for goodbyes.
“Bye honey, I love you!”
“Bye Momma, I love you more!!”
For many years this was our parting routine after a visit, or signing off from a phone call, text, or Facebook message — sometimes multiple times a day. It was Misty’s favorite way to end our conversations, and I adored that even at 35 years old, she still called me Momma with a loving, slightly southern lilt.
On August 1, 2012, my big-hearted, beloved, 35-year-old daughter ended her life.
On that day, and for days, weeks, months after… I...
She stopped thinking about falling. She stopped thinking about panic attacks and fear and worry and falling into that pit that could just appear in the middle of the sidewalk and suck her in any day, any time, any season.
I am self-respect.
I am courage.
I am experience.
I am new opportunity.
I am blunt honesty,
learning and truth.
I am the reason.
I am the outcast,
and I am deep contemplation.
I strip away the bullshit
and I am life in it’s real, raw glory.
I am the wild, and the ancient.
Then I remind that all of it is you.
My wish is that you live as the blessing that you are and that you see the gift you were born to be; that you use your voice to speak your truth, to share your story, and to sow the seeds of your unique soul wisdom. I want you to take a chance on yourself.
My badge at the facility has been pulled for practicing certain Yoga poses. After all, there is a very real resistance in the world that operates in opposition to light. Its energy is much stronger in the prison environment.
What would happen if you could put aside your fear for one day? One hour? Be drawn by the connections that come, feed that place of intrinsic love and let it be your guide... surrender to the unknowable order of things.
Not being on the right frequency,
I had to look inside of me.
The vibrations I was sending out,
Did not match that which I was intentional about.
I wanted these things, but my thoughts you see,
Were the ones that were blocking me.
I have decided to join a sailing expedition, together with another 13 women coming from different fields and life experiences, to cross the Atlantic Ocean and 'make the unseen seen'. That is, from the toxics in our bodies to the toxics in our seas. We call it eXXpedition and we set sail on Nov 16.