My heart sank. That was the lowest of the low throughout the entire journey of labor. My eyes filled with tears as I looked around at the delivery team, my husband, doula and mother. All eyes were on me, everyone knowing that I had tried. I had tried so hard to deliver my baby naturally and everyone had wanted it so badly for me.
We can spend our whole life consciously and unconsciously organizing our lives around avoiding fear and never really understanding that being afraid is actually a part of being human and more importantly, we can tame this so-called beast by cultivating a committed intention, quiet understanding and acceptance.
We are only one thought, one breath away from union with the present moment and that is all that truly matters. If we can have the courage to keep breathing into it - to perhaps make that our tapas for a little while, then the inner wisdom of our true self will not let us down.
Our stories and our reasons, while we thought they were protecting us all these years - have really been keeping us, at times, from exploring new avenues of our potential. So, let's synchronize up our watches and if you GPS me your location, I send you mind. It's time. It's time to begin.
You begin to trust your instincts and settle for nothing less than the sense of adventure of your souls call. Each day brings with it a sense of limitless possibilities and every encounter or connection you make, somehow feels as it if was drawn on your very own personal map of a "how-to" navigate the universe guide.
Whether it is a phone call that is not really necessary or turning off the computer at a decent hour to cuddle with my man and my kitties or looking at the relationships that really bring me value and letting go of the ones that do not, truth be told - I just don’t have time for it!
Holding space is not exactly about comparing stories or giving advice, even when you do it with the best intentions. Holding space is about LISTENING and really allowing the person you are talking to to be heard. Because that is something we all want, right? We all want to be heard and acknowledged.
The role of ‘parent’ is not something I feel qualified or even ready for that matter to step into. Being a parent is the day in/day out/nose to the grindstone being there for your kid. You are the bank, the taxi, the tutor. It is being a disciplinarian and making tough choices that are the best for your child.