After getting out to help, I noticed a Canadian license plate from the corner of my eye. I froze with fear. I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Fox News had spent years warning me about the dangers of encountering foreigners, and despite my best vigilance, here I was in the grips of death.

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy."

The perplexing casting choice was explained by director Jackson Rosenfeld as an attempt to show the true spirit of the Apple icon---a man of vision and of action.

Obviously, the Bible warns us about an anti-Christ, like Obama, who Christians will blindly follow in the end of days, which is why we need to be careful with who we choose to be our new Lord. We must make sure that we pick a real God, like Joel Osteen or Senator Paul Brown.

The argument you have dialed is an imaginary argument. Please check your perceptions and projections...

"A man's life of any worth is a continual allegory - and very few eyes can see the mystery of his life: a life like the scriptures, figurative.”

Well, perhaps the opportunity wasn't lost, but the motivation to dig a little deeper gained—even if it doesn't manifest for a day or two or three. You know these places: I should have said this, I should have said that, I should have asked for this or that and something else. But, none of it really matters...

Last week I lost my soul. I looked all over—here and there, up and down, throughout the Lost and Found.

Children see magic where we fail to, but that doesn't mean it's not there to be seen.

A good Bikram Yoga teacher is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

What would one not do for a vintage typewriter? And what terrible, immediate extinction must await the man who can't or won't type like the ancients...

Beyonce has Sasha Fierce. David Bowie has (or had, rather) Ziggy Stardust. Clark Kent has Super Man. Then there's the most famous duo Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. An alter ego need not be evil as spiritual author and teacher Sonia Choquette recommends giving your higher self a name.

Give a bark here, a bark there, in your car, in your shower, in your loved one's face or just sitting by yourself, on the floor, in a closet or lying on your bed under the covers.

"The kinder and more intelligent a person is, the more kindness he can find in other people. Kindness enriches our life; with kindness mysterious things become clear, difficult things become easy and dull things become cheerful." - Leo Tolstoy

Mourning the death of the modern Twinkie.

Recently, while sitting in a coffeehouse and avoiding an important writing assignment like a good little procrastinator, I was startled from my reverie by an explosive sneeze from a fellow at a nearby table.

Frak you—I’m pissed off. A typical rant that goes on in my head when I just can’t deal with someone’s shitty attitude: So you’ve got a handful of kittens and you’re still pissed off (metaphor for your life is pretty good, yeah, I’m judging that it’s probably better than your shitty tude and if kittens can’t make you happy, then what can?!). Yeah, Mister (or Miss), I think you should know that your bad energy field is bigger than Kansas and its gravitational suction is like one of those South American sink holes. Of course you have a tragic back story that justifies your life-consuming negativity, but I gotta tell you, you’ve gotten to the point where it’s hard to tell where your pain begins and your inconsiderate selfishness ends. Have you forgotten that I have pain too? Have you forgotten that we all...

60 Second Adventures in Religion.

Ghosts reach from back behind you - With an old familiar moan - To comfort your disquiet - And fear of the unknown.

"If human civilization is going to invade the waters of the earth, then let it be first of all to carry a message of respect."

"In this life," they tell me, “Do what’s safe, dependable.”

"To eat is a necessity, to eat intelligently is an art."

If you write "Let's eat grandma," instead of "Let's eat, grandma," then don't act surprised when I show up at your door with a side dish and a bottle of wine.

"We are living in the 'End Times'. Now I know this has been said before by every generation. Take my word for it, this time it’s true."

"A video tribute to the unspeakable, soul-crushing awkwardness and general vapidity of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney."

In this series of videos you will almost learn how to: tune in, do breath of fire, do warm ups and much much more...almost. Enjoy this out take from Saran and stay tuned for more.

What's the most profound sidewalk message you've encountered? Send us one you've stumbled upon. Better yet, send us one of your own.

Just for fun, pick your favourite fruit (just one): Apple, banana, black grapes, cherry, coconut, custard apple, mango, orange, papaya, pear, peach or pineapple.

There's a poetic mystery behind the destructive missions of sexy villains, not to mention their skin-tight, non-conservative shape liberating costumes.