Her. Not a leaving for her. But the way all the leavings were leading to here, now. Where the Yes is clear and complete, and all the work worth it. And the moments of knowing, that we don't get to here without the trail of all the loving, and the way it sometimes marks us with the raised welts of damages done and sometimes illuminates us and our own hunting hearts. But we are here, with all that brought us to here. And her face makes something in me believe, that the great gift is not the erasure of life lived but the grounded rapture of meeting here, her, after the fall.
She has no idea how far she has to go to make it out of the pit that has become her life, all she knows is she must keep moving. Resting, breathing and heeding the guidance of her soul's compass. There will be a day of victory. She will conquer this void and she will once again own her identity, never to compromise it again.
A heart with powerful intentions, which I haven't been able to articulate… at least not the way I want to… because there is a war of incredible poetry that wages in my gut between sharp intellect and wild emotion… and the debris of sentiment floating throughout the air, the well-meaning gun smoke of thought… finds this writer oftentimes… without words.
Maybe something happened to me one day. A strange thing. A painful, beautiful thing. A shock or a slow-burning, quietly tumultuous thing. In the stillness that followed, I went in search of all the locked doors, all the hidden places and every dark, sealed-off part inside, and when I found them, I used all my strength to prise them open.
The universe is neither friendly to life nor unfriendly to it. It is a dynamic, constantly expanding, ever-changing cosmos of chaos and possibility. Life and death are intertwined. Creation and destruction exist in a kind of constant tango of movement. In this kind of universe, how could there be anything like predetermined fulfillment?
Self-acceptance is the beginning of true Love. Close your eyes and feel the sensation in your hands, in your feet. Allow yourself to laugh as the loose hairs framing your face tickle your cheeks and get caught in your eyelashes. Sit with this beautiful mess and know that who you are right now is whole. She is complete in her incompleteness. Start with acceptance. And without your even noticing, it will be Love.
Just because I am out of school does not mean I will stop learning, studying, and growing. Similarly, just because someone doesn't have a formal education doesn't mean they don't have something to teach you. I am a firm believer that every person, place, and situation has a story to tell and a lesson to teach. It's up to us to decide what we take from it.
The city sucks my energy and spits souvenirs for the tourists to grab, bragging with the corners of their mouths, blinking behind the goggles of the western world. I have come here to find myself like so many others.
I like the challenge of traveling, constantly marveling at the beauty of Earth, and major-minor revelations that all humans share commonalities, no matter what their culture, native tongue, or religion.
I have always mistrusted science and academics, and yet have a definite need to exercise my intellect. So, I go through periods of reading, taking workshops, feeding my brain, but when it comes down to it, I trust only my intuition and personal experience. I do not believe in germs. I have not seen them, nor have I even read the research on them. I have experienced what others have told me they do, but I have not experienced them purely on my own. So, they do not exist in my reality. You might say, yes, but what then about gravity? But I have indeed experienced gravity. When I was hit in the head with a hammer on a roof, I fell off -- that was not my imagination. Still, I do not believe in it. It is part of my reality only because I have not learned how to let go of it yet. No one really understands it, so there is a possibility that it is only our imaginations, our collective creation that it results from.
When you seek the course of creation, and act upon it, you pave the way for others to do the same. As we know, the world only needs more people who have come alive. Now is your time. What is your rebellion?
As a rebellious creative who pretty much abhors social conventions, I have always held an inner revolution against our boxed love culture -- the way we attempt to tie love down to our expectations, labels, attachments, and claim some peripheral form of ownership upon another heart. Those who know me have asked, with true curiosity, why I have decided to marry.
Maybe you're missing someone today, maybe you wish you wouldn't have left; maybe you still don't understand why they couldn't stay. These feelings serve a purpose; you miss them because they mattered, you miss them because a heart never forgets. Don't wish away the memories, don't beat yourself up because you swear you can still feel them, smell them, see them standing in the hallway as though they're still here today. Don't feel bad for a heart that remembers, but don't waste time begging back a heart that couldn't stay.
Slowly, I started to rediscover God: in the sunsets I watched religiously; in the sea that I was privileged to swim and scuba dive; in the ever-changing sky; and in the unique silence and presence of the jungle and woodlands. God was in the essence of beauty, and as I witnessed that beauty, I experienced God in me -- my own divinity.
And being aware means I am forced (kicking and screaming) to look at what I do not want to look at. What is that? It's usually uncomfortable feelings. Feelings of irritation or anger that I try to dispose of without metabolizing. Feelings of old hurts that need resolution or better dissolution.
If we can start becoming aware of the things that we do have in our life and feel genuine appreciation for them, then we start the flow of Manifesting abundance. Try it now by making a list of some things you are grateful for in your life today and why you are grateful for them. Pause after each one and feel genuine gratitude and happiness in your heart. Take a few deep breaths in that gratitude and then move on to the next.
Does my daughter really want or need this or I am buying it because I feel guilty for missing that concert? Will I make someone's day that much brighter with a coffee mug or tie? Couldn't I also do that by taking them to lunch or spending an afternoon together? Do the holidays have to keep being just about material things? What would happen if we went back to making them about people instead?
Down dimensions of telepathic trips,
sway my hips,
trace your kiss with my fingertips,
to taste you long after I walk away.
I stop to close my eyes.
Can you feel yourself love?
Can you hear your own voice?
Silence your mind.
And we dance.
If you're brand new to an area, then it's possible you haven't learned enough to cross the threshold yet. But for most of us, we know what works and we have enough knowledge to make progress. It's not about being more intelligent or more skilled, it's about overcoming distraction and doing the work that already works.
Yoga will hold up a mirror while you thrash and kick at the reflection until you bleed on every last shred of glass and then let you pick out the shards, piece by piece, forcing you to have intimate contact with your wounds and see who you really are over and over.
Because some people speak of a calling as clouds clearing, a great voice from the other side of the woods, and a path made open like seas parted or cornfields after the crop has been harvested and now you can see again to the place where ground meets sky. And I do not have or know this. Or if it happens, I have yet to recognize my own name. Still, I'm walking in.
Till all that was left was our molten core of
Savage passion and
Pure unadulterated liveliness
And even though she is gone
And every nerve ending wails Her name
I am finally
As life began to pick up speed, I stopped wondering if he would call, or if he still cared. I stopped him from dominating my thoughts. I stopped pining for unrequited love. That's when he called, of course. But I stopped answering. The call of my Soul was on the other line, and it was tired of being placed on hold. I stopped ignoring it, and finally let it dictate my course of action.
We have only known each other in small moments, our paths crossing in a river of daylight and then disconnecting again, but I miss you, Alegría. I miss the feeling that you reside inside me, your ebbing light that begins in the corners of my ribcage and then starts to glow.
This is the moment, you have nothing to lose. Don't let anyone around you make you feel guilty for stopping or have you believe that you're running away from something. The thing is, even if you stop, it's impossible to run away from what is rightfully, beautifully yours.
Non-attachment is a sweet letting go of who you love. Tough love is what teaches the most potent lessons, and a mother will always wish to carry on the duty and see a child grow whilst the time is ripe. Losing out on that is a sin that goes beyond punishment.
"Look. This morning, there was a man on the Today show, he said something and I totes thought of you. His family had survived a hurricane and lost everything. Even their dog. He said, like, 'in the darkest of times, you can either let it destroy you or let it create you.' So maybe, maybe try to let this create you instead of destroy you. Think of your life as a blank slate."
He was an entire curriculum wrapped in a bald-headed package with the most beautiful hands she'd ever touched. His lessons were tough -- on living now and letting go and loving hard when there's love to be had.
I knew because of the way I felt and the emotions I was receiving, I had harnessed something special. The spirit called me and I knew I had to learn more about Yoga. I wanted to learn about Pranayama, chakras, divine callings, asanas, heart openers, tradition and mantras. I didn't know if I wanted to be a Yoga teacher but I knew I wanted to delve deep into the practice; I just wanted to live life, experience life, live the journey, not worry about the destination. This is really what living is about, right?
Moment by moment, we breathe. Within the silence of our breath, we find that respite and calm. I remind myself of this simple fact from time to time when feeling a bit overwhelmed by the world and all its goings-on. I stop and focus on the breath and think of nothing.
Make your art. Tell the truth. Take that selfie. Step into yourself. Wear that dress. You know the one I'm talking about. The one that feels like heat and sex and swirls around your legs like the sweet seduction of freedom.
I raise my hand,
aware that this act will not be well received.
I do not care.
This is not about me.
This is about my sisters
who were burned at the stake for their defiance.
This is about my sisters
who are murdered
for their gender
and sexual expression
As we grow and change as humans, so do our relationships. I understand this, just as I understand that at the end of the day, we have to learn to be our own pillars of strength. We need to learn to claw our way out from the jowls of hell of our own creation that we throw ourselves into of our own accord.
I wish we all received the same kind of instruction about our bodies. I wish that as soon as we became body-conscious, we had been taught to never copy someone else's physical lines, to never attempt to make another's lines our own.
It takes practice, but now I can ask myself and get a clear Divine answer. Is this feeling from the past? Does this reaction have to do with the present? How am I truly feeling? In the quiet, the Spirit world will always answer.
It's easy to cultivate our own honey. And, who wouldn't want to make themselves sweeter? All you've gotta do is place the hand on your heart while in a deep, heart opening backbend and the honey will start flowing. But be careful, the bees will gather.
The 5 elements and the 4 directions are archetypal and energetic maps that are as metaphorical as they are very real and embodied. Everything we see, taste, touch, feel, and do can be interpreted through the gateway of the elements within and without.
Society lies to us when it bombards us with what love looks like, how we must look like to be pretty and feminine, to be masculine, to be good God-fearing people – we are surrounded by lies. How then do we challenge those lies to find our true truth? What would our lives be like without all the lies? Who would we become, how would we move in the world, interact with others, how would we love? How many people have been driven insane by their own lies? How many have committed heinous crimes based on their own lies? How many people have stayed in relationships that were bad because of lies?