I am wrenched open from the inside. Pulling, tensing, staying, struggling, pushing, contorted and tearful until ultimately I am cracked open. Light begins to appear. Layers are peeled. I become the wave. I am taken.
I haven’t cried though because it’s more fun to curse you and all of your celebrations -- especially your presumption that all beings who wish to buy food on a given day also wish to be reminded of you.
I began to imagine a different ending. I imagined plowing all that dirt onto my past and carefully arranging a riot of flowers on the mound left over. I imagined dancing around the grave, bare feet caked with mud, dancing and dancing until I dropped to the ground. It's OK to mourn the passing away of one part of our lives. It's OK to sit -- grief-stricken and alone -- wondering if we'll ever feel right again.
Yes. Because if the universe is made of 1% visible matter and 99% invisible energy, how can we expect that when it comes to finding a partner, the 1% is the only part that matters? It can't! So get ready. I will give you few suggestions how to call in the One.
Warriors understand a deep seeded sense of LOSS. They know that loss forms the foundation for which a warrior stands. And in this loss, this sacrifice—she learns what it is to love and is given the opportunity to recognize the complete wisdom that comes from sacrifice.
"You awaken your True spirit by way of the broken heart: ragged, vulnerable, fierce and finally compassionate. Chris trod this rough way and shows honestly how it can be done." ~ Jack Kornfield, bestselling author of 'A Path With Heart'
By Cara Perch.
Flash of life and death,Pins and needles climb my scalp.Expectant silence.
Limbs braid, spin skyward.My heart dissolves ina radiant burst of light.
Compelled to let go.Body cast off like snake-skin;No lungs enclosing my breath.
Stretching, expandingI fade; the final notes stillreverberating.
Cara is a business writer by day, poetic wanderer by night, searching for her authentic voice through metaphors. She believes that metaphors help us navigate our own metamorphosis or enlightenment. By consciously putting the idea/concept/problem into another context, we are often rewarded by new insights and a sense of comfort. She writes at Explore Metaphors.
I will bring you my heart. And I will open my outstretched body. And it will be perfectly imperfect, and strong, and hungry. And you will love it because it will be a beacon to you in times of uncertainty and sadness.
Here is the kicker: we cannot change the world by challenging the basic fact that we are different, while entirely disregarding the basic fact that we are bound by our humanity, our collective consciousness.
Ritual, connection with our Younger Self, creating sacred space, setting new intentions, releasing old patterns, continuing to show up for ourselves. This is the only way to wake up, to deal with our pain, to get through it all.
The cycle repeated for many, many years. I'd be working for some of the most prestigious national companies, yet I was coming home crying often, praying for a miracle to get me out, or counting down the days for my next escape.
The question here is: has the modern Sexual Revolution liberated us in order to enjoy deeper and more long-lasting intimate relationships, or has the absence of the potential for fertility in the sex act caused us to become more distant from the original sacred purpose of intimacy?
The more she talks, the more you find yourself inexplicably sucked into a vortex. Your limbs begin to feel heavy. Her voice starts to fade, and it becomes impossible to pay attention. You might start to yawn; oxygen is a scarce commodity.
Bring me to my knees, and I will find one of the thousand ways to kiss the ground. I am that climber on top of the cliff looking down. I know I am ready to be lowered, but I am afraid to die. Because you and I both know -- we need to die to the old, in order to merge with the new.
Then came the other thoughts, my faith in humanity pierced and stereotypes rising in its wounds, and I shook my head because there was nothing else to do. Shit like this happens to people like me, and there are lessons to be learned in anger and spite and those other emotions we push so deep into our hearts that they stay there. This is another tool for greed to create itself.
So, celebrate the fact that you woke up today. Celebrate a good cup of coffee. Celebrate the person -- the beautiful stranger -- you are growing curious about. Celebrate the food piled on your table. Celebrate having enough blankets for your bed.
Where does a physiologically-starved society – not to mention the lack of safety and sometimes love, belonging and esteem – actually find the strength for self-actualisation, self-transformation and self-articulation?
And make all of it happen. Yeah, that stuff they said I couldn't.
I'm up out of the hood now, I gotta stop hoodin'
Ain't gonna torture myself no more with you
I done did my time and I done paid my dues
Even as I write this, the deep wisdom of my stomach’s core seems to be saying “Yes! This is it! You’ve got it! Just keep practicing this loveliness toward yourself!” I feel so in touch with my essence, my being, my body -- where my spirit lives.
In the real world reigned insecurity, loss, hidden grief, but with you I explored power, adventure and sensuousness; remember how we stroked each other’s arms, enjoying the tickling sensation, like puppies?
Let it come to you in time when it is ready. Be patient but not complacent. Certainly do not give up. But you can not rush a turtle to the finish line and you can not chug a beer on a full stomach. Do not try to force what cannot move. Everything has its time.
But that fear was not enough to shut my brain up, inside which my thoughts bubbled. No matter how hard I tried to hide them, they kept resurfacing, sticking their head out, as if to tease me. So, one day to calm the voices inside my head, I decided to use the power of written words.
Then I realized, it was Me! I was annoyed with myself! I was angry with myself! I was exasperated with myself! Then I was annoyed, angry and exasperated, that I was annoyed, angry and exasperated! YIKES! That is when awareness comes. However it makes its way in is always good. I believe when we finally have awareness there is no turning back.
We are all interesting, creative and intelligent beyond belief. We all have gifts worth sharing, and thousands of unborn creations inside us. It is about time we used them. It is about time we said No to more money and Yes to more living.
I wanted my partner's breath in my mouth, and his weight on my hips. I wanted to feel every inch of my skin and every cell of my body vibrate with positive sensation. I wanted to move my body into his in primal, animal-like ways. I wanted to feel the fabric of my humanness beneath my naked back. I wanted to die again and again with each climax, yet wake up safe and sound and still very much alive. I desperately wanted to stay alive.
What we don’t know may be more important than what we know, or think we know. There will always be much more that we don’t know, than what we know, no matter how many schools we attend or no matter how many books we read.