We must be exposed to grow new tissue, new life. When we have a wound in our body, no matter how deep it is, at some stage of the healing process we have to take off the bandages and expose it to the light. Then, the wound can heal, give birth to new cells, fresh and invigorating.
As her friend, you must offer your patience. As a lover, you must offer your heart and surrender to hers. As her parent, you must grow accepting of how she sets herself apart from the original tribe who created her.
As a therapist, I understand we play old patterns in our lives, but it is not on purpose, and we need to be careful when we discuss such situations placing too much responsibility on the victimized person rather than the ones who perpetrated the abuse.
One way to navigate our energetic experiences in a stable and healthy way is by building better energetic boundaries. Instead of constantly feeling drained, or left spinning in a whirlwind, good boundaries will help you stay connected to your intuitive center.