How someone bereaved feels and how they choose to, or very often just do, act is valid, even if, to an outsider, they seem to have lost control.
How could they? How selfish? How ignorant for anyone to think they have the right to judge such tragedy and loss? How dare you?
Maybe the days are laced with more than a little overwhelm as you navigate the missing of what once was, or the ache for who is no longer here.