Transformation isn’t something you choose, it chooses you. Considering what’s involved, no caterpillar in its right mind would ever choose to become a butterfly.
It can actually feel like ecstasy if one drops their prejudices and embraces their feelings with curiosity and compassion. I started playing with it and getting truly ecstatic, and if it doesn't feel great, I am now able to still be with it, and feel it. My ego is going mad, but this terror ...
Whose freedom gets taken away so that you can experience a liberated life? Who suffers so that you can practice self-care? If you're free and others aren't, are you really free? What is freedom if only a few have access to it?